Category Archives: Family Life

I made the switch

Posted on by
1

January 1, 2023 was the last time I drank a full-bodied, all the calories, and wonderful bubble-laced goodness of Coca-Cola. For years my doctor had told me that one Coke a day equated to five pounds added a year. That is assuming you’re not out working off the sugar in some sweaty workout session, which I was not. I made the switch to Diet Coke.

I had hit the point that many women my age hit, when metabolism retires, and weight moves in. I was tired of looking in the mirror to have no waistline reflected. Long-term hypertension was knocking on the door. I was too young not to feel sassy and good about my looks. By the way, my feelings about my body were not coming from societal messages, or from my beloved husband. Any time I groused about my weight, he would tap at my heart and remind me that he loved me from the heart.

So, I drew a line in the sand, signed up for Weight Watchers, and began the journey to better health through shedding some weight. In no way have I been militant about it. We’ve eaten well on vacations and enjoyed treats along the way. I’m not sweating to the oldies, although that should be my next step to escalate the results I’m seeing.

I began with one decision, two if you include the #WW membership. Every day, every choice I make on what to eat is now made with two things in mind, my health/weight goal, and how many points I have to spend.

Back to the Diet Coke switch. Now that it’s been over a year since I had a Coke, there are times when even Diet Coke tastes sweet. When that happens, I ask my husband to taste it. With a cringed face he hands it back to me, “Yep, that’s diet.” Funny how your taste can change. In college, my breakfast pretty much every day was a Dr. Pepper and Snickers bar on my way to barely getting to class on time. The thought of it today brings the feeling of a brick in my stomach.

I have hit one of my first weight goals (Yay me!). But my overall health isn’t what I want it to be, so there is continued work to be done. There are new choices around this change that I need to make. Going into eating and cookie season, those choices may be difficult. Goals worth achieving are worth sacrificing for.

When have you had to draw a line in the sand and say, “It’s time for a change.” Is there some way I can support or encourage you in that decision? Let me know.

All the best,

KK

Let’s connect. If you haven’t already, please choose to follow KK’s Candor. To stay in touch with my writing adventures you can find me on social media.

I’m on vacation

Posted on by
Reply

We haven’t taken a family #vacation in over four years. Between our son’s summer DCI activities and the #pandemic, there really hasn’t been much opportunity. This year we planned a vacation. We took our son and his fiance and headed out west to the Grand Canyon (north and south rim). It was the first time for each of us to experience the grandeur of the canyon and two other canyons nearby, Bryce and Glen. Before leaving, I had my pre-vacation checklist to complete. It’s never been easy for me to stop working for a week. Normally it takes me the first few days to down-shift into vacation mode – to not wonder what’s happening back at the office. The ridiculous part of this is that it’s not like I’m a high-ranking leader at a Fortune fifty company. In truth, I’m about six levels below that. But I carry the curse of a strong work ethic and take ownership of my work. So to leave work for a week takes a little effort on my part.

This time it didn’t take me long to decompress and ignore emails from work. About halfway through the week, I realized that I needed this vacation. I needed a change of scenery, a new experience, and time with my family. We had a great time. There was no rushing, but we had specific activities planned most days. In the evenings after a good dinner, we played cards and enjoyed each other’s company. I haven’t seen the news in over a week. The world was doing what it was doing, and my family was making memories.

We had a couple of rental car challenges. Evidently Dollar car rental can take a reservation, they just can’t keep the reservation (Seinfeld reference intended). But we got it worked out and had a comfortable Honda SUV for traveling from one end of the Grand Canyon to the other.

I’m purposely not going to even attempt to describe what we saw. Here are a couple of pictures. Even as a writer, I am without words, and these photos don’t begin to give you a sense of the majesty our Creator put in these mountains. Please take time to make the #trip. It’s worth experiencing and our National Park Service has made it very accessible for pretty much anyone.

We wrapped up our adventure with a trip to Chase Field Stadium in Phoenix, Arizona to see the Diamondbacks and the Rays play. Great game. Something else I’ve never experienced is a baseball game played inside. With the extreme heat, the game was played with the stadium roof closed. The Rays won.

Back to work on Monday. I’m thankful for my time off. But I’m refreshed and ready to go.

How’s your summer going?

All the best,

KK

Don’t overlook May

Posted on by
1

It is easy to have such planned lives that we miss the hours or days that are in the present. I found myself guilty of this today when I asked my son if he wanted to go to a Louisville Bats game with us on June 3. June 3rd! It’s still April. What about May?

There are a lot of important things happening in May. There’s Derby Day for those of us here in #Kentucky and of course #MothersDay. Can’t let that slip away. Besides the holiday, it’s important to embrace each day. Live in the present. What special something, unusual encounter, or unplanned blessing will be missed if we’re busy looking forward to something else? One thing I like to do is sit out on our porch. Just sit. No phone or device of any kind. Be still. Within a few minutes, I notice something in the yard, a rabbit, or birds playing in the bird bath. Those few minutes change my spirit. They have an impact on the rest of the day.

I’ve probably written about this attitude before, but overlooking the “now” for the “coming soon” hit hard today. While I’m looking forward to June — a night at the baseball field, my book release, a family gathering, and vacation — I’m also thankful for completing a normal week of work, and a quiet Friday night at home with my husband.

What about you? Did any unexpected #blessings catch you while you were planning something else?

All the best,

KK

Let’s connect. If you haven’t already, please choose to follow KK’s Candor. To stay in touch with my writing adventures you can find me on social media.

A First Christmas

Posted on by
Reply

The thought of a first Christmas typically brings warm feelings and a smile. The first #Christmas you had a boyfriend to exchange gifts with. Your first married Christmas. A child’s first Christmas. The first Christmas in your first home. My siblings and I have now had two first Christmases. The first Christmas after losing a parent is empty. The first Christmas after losing your second parent is just sad. We are now the oldest generation. That’s just scary (yes, comic relief there).

Our mother passed into eternity in #March. We took care of the details and are still working on closing her affairs. But it’s impossible to pack away the hype that she brought to Christmas. Mom loved to cook, and loved to buy presents. Weeks before Christmas, she was buying baking supplies; sugar, eggs, flour, jars, and jars of peanut butter for fudge. While we all offered to bring food, she insisted on cooking; chicken and dumplings, beef tenderloin, shrimp cocktail, and orange dip (it’s a family recipe). Last year she couldn’t get out to shop, but she made sure her great-granddaughters got dolls and her great-grandsons got remote control cars. Don’t be misled, there was plenty of drama along the way. But we all got through it, and we made sure that Christmas was as close as possible to what mom wanted.

Each of us is navigating this first Christmas without mom carefully and gently. There have been plenty of tears. Some at random moments, like passing the doll aisle in Target and not needing to go down it. Or other times when making a menu for our sibling Christmas gathering and my husband asked if I wanted to attempt to make mom’s Waldorf salad. “No, not yet.” Just couldn’t do it this year.

To my readers who are having the same kind of first Christmas consider this a virtual outreach and empathetic connection to say, “I understand.” Be in the moment with your family and friends. Don’t let your grief overshadow the goodness you may have right next to you. And when you need to cry, take a minute and let the tears go. Those who love you will understand. The best way I can honor my mother is to be generous and enjoy good food, and my family. That is what I intend to do.

Merry Christmas,

KK

#Workingfromhome t-shirt fashion statement

Posted on by
Reply

We’ve talked about the financial advantage of #workingfromhome. Saving on gas, parking, and meals out. The other buzz I’m hearing is about not having to dress for work. Many folks proudly admit they are living in their pajamas. I get that. True confession, I’ve done video meetings fully outfitted from the waist up including hair and make-up.

We do save time and clothing not having to dress and leave our homes. While I haven’t been living in my pajamas, I recently noticed that I wasn’t wearing anything from a hanger. In other words, my daily attire comprised of a pair of shorts (btw I currently only own 3 pairs of shorts) and a graphic t-shirt. It was a healthy rotation of my college, a cute writer quote, Phantom Regiment, and a 502 shirt (our area code). Since I don’t go anywhere, it’s not uncommon for me to wear the same one more than once in a week before it goes into the laundry.

My life really isn’t as pathetic as this is sounding. Yes, I only have three pairs of shorts right now. By the time the weather was warm enough to wear shorts, we were all staying #healthyathome, no need to buy new ones (Sorry Macy’s, I miss you too). I have others (my non-zipper shorts) but they are primarily for workouts or working in the yard. It’s just with #COVID, and working from home, I’m not out and about very much. My dog and husband don’t seem to care, they love me no matter what I wear. And I bathe every day so there’s not a stink-factor.

Anyway, all of this occurred to me a couple of weeks ago when I opened my lonely closet to see about something to wear to church (our church recently regathered in person). So last week I decided to challenge myself to not wear t-shirts with logos, quotes, or mascots. Each day I thought a little more carefully about what to wear and I pressed into action shirts I hadn’t worn in months. One day, I even added a little mascara to my look.

Admittedly, refreshing my look gave me a little lift. I felt a sense of normalcy. By Sunday it didn’t feel completely odd to wear a skirt and dress shoes to church. Now if I can get rid of my #COVID pounds from the work-break strolls to the kitchen, I might be a new woman when all of this is over.

Take care,

KK

Let’s connect!

Modern-day homesteading

Posted on by
Reply

Staying #healthy at home – working from home, educating from home, and coming together around the dinner table more often. If you take away the electronics, the picture is similar to a couple of generations ago when families either farmed and everyone had a role, or during the depression when families had city gardens, dads worked where they could find it, and mothers kept house and raised the kids.

Since March, we’ve taken a step back in time to find the home and the family the center of ourhttps://www.mattel.com/en-us existence. Malls, entertainment centers, and sports were shut down. Restaurants were closed or had limited capacity. No place to go, we’ve settled into our homes and gotten creative with how we entertain ourselves. At first, we #binge-watched our favorite series. After our periodic parade through the kitchen for snacks, and when the meal rotation went stale, we dug out our cookbooks and tried new recipes-some worked, others didn’t. Games played and created. Our kids have dug out their bikes, skates, and skateboards and gone outside to play. The after-dinner walk has made a comeback.

We’ve found ourselves around the table more often than usual. The conversations have changed from who needs to go where, to the adventures in the yard, neighborhood, or park. Instead of running all the time, we’ve slowed down to enjoy our family, our people.
Our homes have been elevated in importance. We’ve taken advantage of not going anywhere to sort, organize, give-away, or sell our abundance of stuff. Closets, drawers, basements, and garages are organized. That ugly pink paint in the extra bedroom has been neutralized to a “pearl white.” Our yards have been mowed every week, and some planted a vegetable garden. About now they are starting to reap the harvest and feeling the satisfaction that comes from planting, watering, and shooing the squirrels away from their Heirloom tomatoes.

Homesteading, no matter when or why is all about creating a space called home and discovering the joys and challenges of family.

Tell me your #healthyathome story.
KK

Let’s connect!

Post #COVID-19 normal

Posted on by
1

What are you doing now that is different than before our #stayhealthyathome that you will keep doing post #COVID-19? We are in a new rhythm of life. It’s slower and less distracted by managing the schedules of work, school, and family activities. I personally like that I’m not spending so much time in traffic. Meetings? Get up, brush hair and teeth, put on presentable top and click into the meeting portal.

There’s really nothing other than home supplies to shop for. I guess there is on-line shopping (if that’s your thing), I recently saw a shopping network modeling face masks; is this the new spring fashion?

I’d like to think that we will embrace the rhythm that we feel right now. The ease of schedules, meals around the dinner table with family, sidewalk chalk artwork, game nights, playing along with JEOPARDY, and just taking each day as it comes.

Taking each day as it comes, there’s a thought. The reality is that our calendars will refill quickly. Why not commit now to be intentional to leave a few holes to just let something wonderfully unexpected happen? Before all this happened, I was almost to that point. I had quit my second job and was studying for the CAPM exam, knowing that as soon as that was successfully passed, I would have my evenings back. Now I have evenings, but I’m not sure what day it is. They all feel about the same. Yep, true confession, I’m one of those who lost their job because of COVID-19. Myself and eight of my co-workers who all served the organization well received a call earlier this month. That’s about all I’ll say about that. The real point is that beyond the five or six hours a day I spend applying and networking, I could be doing anything.

My priority is to find a job sooner rather than later. Since my husband is working and my son is doing college from home, I keep the schedule of working during the day (my job is to find a job). Take a minute now, close your eyes and picture the world opened up again. Our evenings are dinner and then [you fill in the blank]. You leave the office and go [you fill in the blank]. And what about all this talk of self-care? Will you keep self-care as a priority?

How will you intentionally leave holes for something wonderful in your schedule, post #COVID19?

All the best,

KK

Click to tweet: What are you doing now that is different than before our #stayhealthyathome that you will keep doing post #COVID-19? 

Let’s connect!

Things to do while we are being #healthyathome

Posted on by
2

Last weekend was sunny and seventy degrees. It was wonderful! I felt like this picture of a dog. wallowing in the grass. As we are in our fourth week of working from home, I’m beginning to get a little antsy in the evenings. I don’t have a drive home to shift from the work to family mindset. I don’t want to just downshift to eat dinner and watch TV all evening. Or just letting social media be my time-suck. So, I’ve decided to make a list of projects to do around the house. What am I saying, I don’t need to make a list, there is always a running list. We all have them. We call it our rainy-day list, or our “if I’m ever snowed in” list. Well, we have our storm. It doesn’t look like others, but it’s keeping us home. I’ve checked with some others to collaborate on a list of options to get you started. Let me know if any of these are on your list.

  • Clean the house – thoroughly wiping down doorframes, woodwork, and cabinet fronts
  • Clean out closets
  • Clean out the basement storage areas
  • Change out your wardrobe from winter to spring – perhaps trying the 3-3-3 method
  • Clean out your emails and unsubscribe from lists you no longer care about

Lots of benefits to cleaning and refreshing your home (#COVID19). Enough cleaning, here are some other more fun ideas:

  • Learn a Language – DUOLingo seems to be the app that’s trending these days; it’s free and#duolingo easy to use.
  • Take a virtual tour – The national parks and many great museums have opened their virtual doors for tours.
  • Write something – perhaps you’ve always wanted to write a book, or short story, now’s your window of opportunity. I may try my hand at poetry 😊.
  • Pull out that instrument you played in high school and see if you can still remember your old music. Or create new music. Just #Google Apps for learning to play [NAME YOUR INSTRUMENT].
  • Take a daily walk – it takes 21 days to form a habit, we may have 21 more days, get after it.
  • Learn yoga or tai chi
  • Choose something you don’t know, but always wanted to learn, and learn it.
  • Benge watch Financial Peace and learn about budgeting and personal finance. It’s free for 14 days.

Do you see a pattern with my second list? Experts are saying we could be another month in some sort of social distancing. If we really have another 30 days, consider what you could accomplish. We have at our fingertips the ability to learn and grow, and the time to do something about it. There is no confinement to our ability to reach out and have the world open to us. With our #stayhealthathome time, why not use this down time to broaden our minds?

What’s on your list?

KK

Let’s connect!

No bad seeds

Posted on by
1

No child is a bad seed. Like the Biblical parable of the sower and the seeds, the seeds fell on different kinds of ground. Depending on the ground, their challenges for flourishing could be big or small. The sower himself (a farmer) had only so much time and resources for growing a crop that would feed his family. He wouldn’t waste his time sowing bad seeds. And so it is with the children in our lives. They come into this world as a bundle of potential. They have an innate desire to be accepted and approved of by others. It’s up to the adults in their lives to bring that potential to reality and build the appropriate confidence that they are accepted.

A small acorn becomes a giant oak tree, but only if it lands or is moved to the right environment. An acorn could fall on a rock, but perhaps someone picks it up, sees the potential and plants it. There the acorn has what it needs to grow and reach it’s potential.

Today, babies are born into a world that is pretty messed up. They are born into rocky soil. Even those who are born into the nurturing soil of solid parents and families have roots that hit hard places and struggle.

While the sowers of these seeds (parents) are the first line of nurture, there are and will be (there must be) other adults that come along who can feed and water these seedlings – guardians, foster parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even older siblings. We are those other adults.

We are the grown-ups in this world. We have the power to water and nurture the seedlings that we encounter, or we can selfishly go about our lives not considering our power to make a difference.

Like a peace Lilly plant that wilts and then perks up with watering, there is an opportunity to revive those around us who may be on the verge of withering. Keep an eye out for them this week. Kent Pekel takes this message to a deeper relational level talking about the benefits of developmental relationships.

All the best,

KK

Click to tweet: Once the seed has been planted, it takes nourishing in the form of meaningful and honest relationships between adults and youth.

Connect with me on other sites:

Listen to your child’s heart

Posted on by
Reply

My child has grown. He’s in college and now talking more specifically about what he wants in life — his plans for after college. Let me encourage other guardians/parents that when your young adult child brings up their thoughts, dreams and ideas about launching into adulthood, just listen. We were all young once with the same ideas. In my opinion, the worst thing we can do is squelch their dreams.

By listening and not suggesting anything, we keep the conversation open. When we start interjecting stories of our early adult lives-the mistakes we made, or how some of our dreams got squelched-we take something away from their fresh excitement. Let them dream, keep the conversation open so that when they’re navigating the reality of making their dreams come true, and they hit bumps in the road, they will feel comfortable coming to you for advice or to bounce other ideas around. That’s your opportunity to step in and guide or make suggestions. Easy though, we want to guide them to their own conclusion, not solve the problem for them.

Asking guiding questions can help the thought process of the young adult. Ask open ended questions like, what do you think about blah, blah (fill in with suggested direction). Or have you hear of blah, blah (fill in this place, organization, person who could help). An even deeper conversation could include asking what they’ve learned from the let-down/failure.

As parents there is no way for us to know which of their dreams will come to fruition. So as long as what our young adults are planning is legal, moral, ethical, and leading them toward a productive adulthood, why not let them dream and work toward it. We will celebrate their successes and be ready to encourage when things don’t go their way.

I’d rather have the optimistic young person with goals and dreams who can be guided by some well spoken words of wisdom, than a young person just floating around letting life happen him/her. Seasons of wondering can be very productive as long as they are seasons and not lifestyles.

What are your thoughts?

KK

Click to tweet: As parents there is no way for us to know which of their dreams will come to fruition. So as long as what our young adults are planning is legal, moral, ethical, and leading them toward a productive adulthood, why not let them dream and work toward it.

Connect with me on other sites: