Category Archives: Parenting

Sugar cookies and memories

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Yesterday I made sugar cookies to take to school at lunch time for Cole’s birthday.  Evidently it is still cool for mom to show up with cookies at middle school lunch as long as she doesn’t hang out too long.  The cookies were homemade slice and bake, but I wanted to ice them to look like baseballs.

One thing to understand, I am not an artist and if I can’t just shoot a fun shape out of a cookie press and add sprinkles, I’m stretching my talents.  Standing in the kitchen icing these cookies, I began to think about my son and how he is growing into a young man.  I felt thankfulness for the grace and encouragement God had delivered over and over to us throughout the years.  I thought about the day he was born and the first moment he looked at me as if to say, “so that is what you look like, I only knew your voice for these nine months.”

Then it came time to add the red icing to make the laces on the “balls”.  It wasn’t great.  Some were ok, and then I remembered my recipients, middle schoolers.  The cookie that looked like home plate was good and I eeked out five or six good baseballs, the rest got sprinkles.  I was running out of time and needed to get them over to school.

At one point I thought maybe I should scrap the idea and go buy the pretty ones from the bakery.  But then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to reflect and embrace the blessing of a birthday many years ago and yesterday.

I have no idea how Cole will remember his 2012 birthday.  Maybe we will laugh about my attempt at cookie decorating; but I can almost promise you that he will know that every swipe of the icing spreader, and every squirt of the icing decorator was done with love.  Yes, I could have easily swiped my debit card and bought pretty cookies, but it wouldn’t have been the same experience for either of us.

Think about it,

KK

Soak it Up

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A baby is born and is completely dependent on someone to provide for the basic needs.  Within the first year the child goes from completely helpless to crawling and many times even walking.  Parents are told to fill their minds with music, color, shapes and to talk to their baby.  The child is like a sponge taking it all in.  I’m wondering when we lose our sponginess.  Do we?  When do we grow immune to our environment, or the messages that are shared?  I don’t think we ever lose it.  I think we forget about the cliché “garbage in, garbage out.”  We think as adults we have great command over our thoughts and self- control of our actions.

I digress, because tonight my concern is for our young people and the messages they are receiving disguised in the cloak of entertainment.  Tonight our family went to see Marvel’s Avengers (http://marvel.com/avengers_movie/).   It was a treat and a good movie.  However, the previews of coming attractions were a string of dark stories that were presented as end of the earth, destruction, movies that led me to think that life is hopeless.  Ok, so they are movies not reality.  But you and I both know the line between the two can be very faint for the young people around us.  The previews also included two new reality shows coming to television.  Seriously, is this entertainment?  If it’s true reality than maybe all hope is gone.

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when television was growing in popularity as a means of entertainment.  The situational comedies like Happy Days and Lavern and Shirley, filled our minds with fun and laughter.  Never once did we hear Richie Cunningham bashing his father or being two-faced with his friends.   Today our television schedules are full of ridiculous shows that are “reality based” are filled with backstabbing men and women.  The plot lines for this waste of time and space shows ranges from alligator competitions, to bored house wives, father son motor cycle builders and even loggers.  How is this entertaining?   When you watch a reality tv show, after it’s over do you have a sore belly from laughing like we did with characters like Joey on Friends or Jerry Seinfeld?  Let me help here, you don’t.  If anything you may just find yourself tired and cynical.

Shows that make us laugh; give us the opportunity to release all those positive endorphins that laughter produces.  Shows that inform stretch our minds and build knowledge.   Television dramas can be entertaining if well written and have strong characters.  Even watching a sporting event can be uplifting.

What messages are our young people taking in from their television and movie entertainment if all of them are dark, stressful and cynical?  Why should they have hope for a brighter future if this is what they watch?  How can we be effective parents and mentors if this is the crap we are watching?

Think about it…

KK

What I did on my summer “vacation”

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Before the nice people in the unemployment offices read this and think I wasn’t looking for a job as part of the last four months, let me assure that it was at the top of the list every day.  Our summer days started with my rising to find on average four to six emails had been delivered to the email box dedicated only to the job hunt.  While the puppy ate breakfast and Cole slept in, I read and responded to the most appropriate opportunities.  After all efforts of application and follow-up were exhausted, there were various household chores that needed attention.  Stay with me, this “vacation” gets better.  I bore you with the standard schedule to present the over-arching theme of the summer (or so I thought) was to find a job.  There was something far greater to seek and embrace.

Time; a season with Cole that I would have never had; morsels of priceless moments that included impromptu water gun fights, silly singing in the car, afternoons spent at the swimming pool, and conversations that I will cherish for the rest of my days.

We worked together on household chores and I taught him to mow the lawn.  We took a few minutes to one night to look outat the full moon.  Another night we sat on the deck and looked at the stars.  He showed me the big dipper and the little dipper. We baked our favorite Christmas cookies and pressed them into non-Christmas shapes.  We volunteered at Lifebridge, sorting clothing and school supplies for those in need.  How wonderful to see Cole’s enthusiasm for helping others.  I had time to not worry about bed times and chores I only had evenings to complete.  With a slower pace, it seemed our time was less hectic and more meaningful.

This was the summer before Cole started middle school.  Yes, middle school, these are said to be three clumsy awkward and wonderful years a parent never considers when they first hold that sweet smelling infant.  From those who have gone before me on this parenting journey, I have been warned; but I choose to not fret.  Over the last four months, we have had these golden moments of connection that further solidified a relationship that began long before his birth.

We are over a week into the school year and have had few bumps.  The bumps will come, but when they do, I will be ready to listen first and then respond.  What I learned this summer is that the response Cole needs may be with words of wisdom, or just asking gentle questions to help him further figure out his own solution. Either way, I get to be there for Cole.

It has always been my goal as a parent to raise Cole to be a man of faith, who at the age of 18 will go off to college and his adult life.  At that point my relationship with him will change but will be soundly rooted in many hours of prayer and time well spent with him.

I wondered why God allowed this season of my life, if only for the memories the past few months gave Cole and me, I am grateful.  A job will come and I will work full time again, but I will do it with a new perspective on balancing family and work.  I will remember this pace and practice gearing down to take in moments that last a short time, but are treasured
for a lifetime.

How was your summer vacation?

All the best,

KK

Oh please, parents take responsibility

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This link (http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/05/18/health-experts-attack-mcdonalds-but-can-they-bite-into-its-bot/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl1%7Csec1_lnk2%7C64222) is to an article regarding McDonald’s and the health risks on children who eat their food.   Seriously, how many people can we blame for our own bad habits and laziness.  It should not come as any surprise to a customer at McDonald’s that their foods are high in fats, sodium and calories.  If children aren’t eating healthy, it is because of the choices their parents are making.  It’s not McDonald’s fault.  They are merely the biggest of their kind.  Let me challenge you to look at the nutritional value of frozen dinners,or other restaurants.

These health experts are accusing McDonald’s of predatory marketing.  They could line up the companies who market to children.  Just watch cable networks for kids.  It is the parents’ responsibility to be the filter for what children see or hear and what is good for them and healthy.  Besides, aren’t we supposed to be teaching our children to think for themselves?

It is the parents’ responsibility to teach their children how to eat foods that will build them up and help keep them healthy.  No child has suggested going out for fast food without some adult at some point taking them there.

Here’s your slack, sometimes life dictates food in a hurry.  If it happens too often, I would ask who is planning your time?  When you do drive through, what’s wrong with a salad or baked potato?

It is time to take responsibility for our actions, health choices and the children in our lives.  We are continually learning about the foods we eat, what’s good for us and what isn’t.  Make the good choice and teach your children to do the same.