Category Archives: Relationships

We all have a COVID story

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We all have a #COVID story. The events of 2020, and how they impacted and changed us. Some are very positive stories of lives that were enriched as individuals took advantage of the shutdown as an opportunity to connect with their families like they had never before. Or what about the surge in healthy lifestyle changes — at-home workouts, cooking new meals. Before anyone gets mad, yes, there were some horrific experiences during the shutdown — increase in physical abuse, children not engaging in online learning, lack of free meal distribution, and many more. I learned several things during Covid and the social unrest we’ve seen over the last couple of years.

I learned to think for myself. There were (and still are) many opinions about how to handle the virus. It’s important for each of us to listen and decide for ourselves. When airlines discontinued their mask mandate. The country went nuts. The experts were appalled. What was missed was the fact that while they weren’t required, masks weren’t banned either. So, if a traveler is at risk, please wear a mask. And if they’re standing apart from the crowd, hopefully, others will understand and respect that. There were plenty of times I disagreed with what was mandated, but I respected authority enough to keep myself and those around me safe. Watching the protests in the midst of a pandemic was a great example of individuals thinking for themselves. We were all told to stay home, out of crowds, wear a mask, and thousands of people did just the opposite. Cases of COVID in the areas with protests sored. But it was their right. So was it wrong?

It’s ok to turn off the news. We are barraged with messaging and information. It’s everywhere! We can’t look at any #socialmedia or open an email without finding junk mail sent to us because of something we #Googled. For me, it’s gotten to be too much. So, I watch the news just a few times a week; use my weather app for weather. Yes, being an informed citizen is important. But not at the risk of my own stress level. The world hasn’t ended because I quit watching the news. Unfortunately, I could tell you the subject of the first three stories before I turn it on.

Shouting may get someone’s attention, but it won’t keep it. If more than one person is shouting, you can forget getting your message across. Oh, those shouting will get attention, but their message will not be heard. We live in a country in which we have the right to protest anything we believe in. I’m glad about that. And I support any citizen who wants to exercise that right. But the purpose of the protests quits being heard when fires are set, or guns are fired. Then you just have mayhem, and those with the influence to help quit listening and respecting those in protest. Go ahead and shout, but when you’re heard, calm down and state your purpose. Come together with those who can help and together find the answer.

Have faith. In this world you will have trouble (quote from the most quoted text in history). It goes on to say to take heart, we are just traveling through. There is a perfect #God who is ready to come alongside to guide us. And there is an eternal world that doesn’t have the troubles we have here. We need to leave this world a little better than we found it. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control go a long way in living in community with others. We are never all going to agree. That’s the joy and the challenge of being an individual. We each bring our own bias, color, shape, and size to a conversation. Take a breath and listen to the other person. You will learn something you didn’t know before, and can then choose to believe it for yourself or not. Think about it, what if everyone agreed with your most positive conviction? But what if everyone agreed with your darkest thought? What if our definitions of positive conviction and darkest thought are different? We are on this earth for a finite number of days and then we go to the infinite.

Today’s post isn’t my way of saying I’m right and you’re wrong. It’s merely to get you thinking. Comment if you like. Or take a walk, sit alone, and ponder the last few years. What have you learned? How have you changed? And ponder your future, what legacy will you leave in this world?

All the best,

KK

My Soulmate

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Someone older and wiser than I once told me that in order to really get to know someone you should date them in all four seasons before getting married. While one year of dating doesn’t sample all possible joys and challenges life will offer, it does give you an glimpse.

My husband and I dated 50 weeks before we were married. Not quite a year. But we had been friends before that and had even traveled in groups together. Looking back, I remember things about him that attracted me to him even before I realized how much I cared for him.

He is a strong faith-driven man. He loves me and would lay down his life for us. It’s scary how much we think alike when it comes to family life, problem solving and some of the curve balls life throws.

When we married, he immediately became a step parent. For nine years he has handled this role with wisdom and love. Never rushing the relationship, he has become a mentor and dad to my son. He has sacrificed date nights, trips and things he wanted to do when parent-duty called. All because he agreed with me in the beginning that raising a confident child who would always know parents who love and support him is a priority.

Today is our ninth anniversary. I love our life together. Doing life on the busy days and the super-slow-stay in beds days, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We haven’t quite gotten to the point of finishing each other’s sentences, but it will come. Becoming soulmates has taken time, love and trust.

The next decade will bring a new level to our relationship. At some point we will be empty nesting and planning for another season. I have no doubt that we will do so holding hands, praying for each other and laughing about our secret jokes.

This week’s post honors my husband, Jay. Happy anniversary, honey. I love you.

K.

The Tuesday Before

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I went to the grocery Tuesday (yes, two days before Thanksgiving). My primary purpose was to pick up the fresh turkey gobblewe had ordered. Admittedly, there were a few other items, but nothing major. As I walked in there were people exiting with heaping cart loads of groceries. The store was abuzz with shoppers. There was a hustling energy much like gift shopping on Christmas Eve. It made me wonder if Thanksgiving was a surprise to these shoppers much like Christmas is to those who shop the day before. Or instead of shopping early, they chose to just wait and risk the possibility that the cranberry sauce in a can might be sold out or the pumpkin spice might be gone. Just wondering.

Truly friends we have much to be thankful for in this life. We are rich in friends, family and opportunity. There probably will not be any shortage in the grocery you find yourself in tonight at 10 p.m. (there is always that one key ingredient that was forgotten).

God bless,

KK

 

 

 

 

Climate Controlled

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So the other evening my husband walked in from work red-faced and sweating. It took me a minute to realize what was going on.  While his work is sometimes physical and outside, and had been away from any of that activity for about 20 minutes, his car has no air conditioning and it was close to 90 degrees outside. Then like a splash of cold water it hit me, my world is very climate controlled.Climate-controlled

If I get too cold, I make an adjustment to the thermostat.  If I get too warm, another adjustment is made; never too cold, never too hot. When I leave to go somewhere, I get in the hot car and turn on the air conditioner.  It’s like living in a season-neutral world – not too hot, not too cold, don’t get rained on etc.

I wouldn’t call us soft, but what would your first thought be if there is a power outage on a very hot evening? One guess would be, call a hotel! Can we not stand to be a little uncomfortable? Do we take the opportunity to have a little adventure and experience what the uncontrolled environment feels like?

Those of us who work in offices need to be intentional about getting outside, letting our bodies be a part of creation; feel the sunshine, let a rain drop or two land on your nose, get a little sweaty, freeze a little.

Your thoughts,

KK

P.S. – he’s getting his air conditioner fixed this month.

 

Not so Holy Feeling

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The remnants of sand and dirt felt crusty on Mary’s face from the long day’s journey and the ebb and flow of pain and sweat. The hard pain – the overwhelming stench – the crowds.  An hour from town there are tribes setting up camp everywhere.  How many more are crammed into this small town, Bethlehem?  The noise pounding in her head – the pains coming closer and closer. Oh, to just lie down.

Mary waited outside the inn for what seemed an eternity for Joseph to return.  His demeanor screamed as loud as Mary’s pain that he had failed.  There were no rooms.  The best he could provide was the privacy of the innkeeper’s barn.  A gentle touch on the shoulder from Joseph reminded Mary that he had done his best and was sorry it wasn’t better.  He wasn’t in charge of how the events of this night were unfolding.  The final steps to their accommodations were the worst on Mary’s swollen feet.

Joseph slid the barn door open only to gag from the disgusting odor.  Seems the barn was as full as the streets with visitors.  Asking one final thing of Mary, to wait in the fresher air outside while he found some straw and made bedding for her.  She submitted to her betrothed.  He didn’t sign up for this, but he certainly stepped up.

Together they slowly and gingerly walked in out of the cool night.  As he helped Mary lie down, she let out a scream from the pain.  Finally, free to let out the truth and anguish she felt.  The animals rustled and made noises like an out of tune orchestra.  Upon noticing their unexpected human guest, as if they knew who they were hosting, they laid down and became still.  As she settled in and became accustomed to the smells, sights and sounds.  She prayed.  God, we wanted better for your son.

It was a long and unfamiliar night for both Mary and Joseph; Mary too young to know much about birthing a child and Joseph too innocent.  Men didn’t get involved when a baby was coming.  But tonight was not about tradition or decorum – it was about changing the world – it was about hope and eternity colliding with all that humans thought was “normal”.  A new covenant squeezed into this night.

His birth wasn’t pretty.  Jesus joined humanity as a wiggly, slippery baby.  Mary was scared but led by what came instinctive and natural.  Joseph was awkwardly doing his best to provide blankets and a towel to wash the boy who would return the favor someday.

This night didn’t feel very holy, but it was real.  No airs or regal greeting parties for the King of Kings.  His mother felt the pains, his earthly father the helplessness, him the trauma every human baby in history feels during birth.  It was the heavenly Father who felt joy knowing He sent an invitation through Jesus. He knew he would get his son back and when He did, Jesus would bring all of the rest of His children.

The night was finally silent.  Mary could breathe without pain.  Joseph settled in next to his family. Mary-Film-The-Holy-Family For the first time since Genesis the world would be still and rest in the hope of Him who came to love, serve and save.

May every night of your coming days bring stillness, hope and peace in Jesus Christ.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

KK

Are you up for the test?

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When I have meetings at the Kentucky Shakespeare office in downtown Louisville (Kentucky), I like to park in the open-air pay lot across the street. First of all, I don’t like parking garages and secondly, the man who runs it is friendly. It’s obvious he’s an ordinary guy, doing his best to make a living.

Recently, I pulled in and there was another gentleman in the booth. This time my meeting was the Fund for the Arts board meeting. After the meeting, I was pulling up to the booth to pay I pulled out my wallet to find that I had a large bill. Please note that I don’t make a habit of carrying large denominations. So I pulled forward and the gentleman checks my ticket and tells me it will be $4.50. And so begins my inquiry as to whether he could “break” a large bill.parking booth

He immediately said “no”. All I had on me in change was two dollars. So I implored him to let me just run to the bank and I would come back with money to pay him. He hesitated. I promised. I gave him the two dollars I had and emphatically promised to be back in 10 minutes. He relented. I went to the bank and was back in the time frame.

When I pulled in the same gentleman opened the metal booth door and smiled. “You are an honest person,” he said. I handed him a $10 dollar bill. “I didn’t believe you would come back.” With that he handed me change as if I’d given him $20. After quickly checking my bank envelope, I handed the money back explaining his error. He chuckled, “I was just testin’ ya.”

Enough tests for one day. I drove away thinking that in reality, he was probably a little challenged by the money math. I was also glad to be the honest example for the day.

Have you found yourself in situations like this? Has your character been tested?

All the best,
KK

15 more — I’m doing my part

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So our goal was 100 posts and 100 followers by December 31st.  Many of you have done your part, there are 64 followers. I’m doing my part, this is post number 85.  There are 15 more coming.  I promise.  A few have been drafted others are still rolling around in this red-headed head.  You know, natural-born red-heads are dwindling in number…but I digress.  Here’s how you can help:

First, be sure you are following.  Just click the “Follow” button to the right right arrowof this post.  Second, you could share this or any of my posts on your Facebook page inviting your friends to follow as well.  Thirdly, you could copy and paste www.kkscandor.com in an email message telling friends and family that you are offering them a subscription to my blog for the holidays.  Yes, I know it’s free, but the value and thought are what gift giving is all about, isn’t it?

Finally, enjoy the impact you could have on helping me accomplish my goal and in return you are giving friends and family a gateway to encouragement.

Thank you.

All the best,

KK

6 Things I’m grateful for – One at a Time – Number 1

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sqeasy vegetable soupThanksgiving Soup

I’ve been thinking a lot about what todays grateful item would be.  Reading over the previous five I am hopeful that much more of what I’m thankful for has been woven throughout.  I didn’t want today’s post to be the typical things like faith, family and friends.  You did read those things into the other posts, right?  If not, here they are; I am very thankful for my faith the holds me steady, my family that always stands firm with me, and my friends who encourage me and add so much to my life.

Today’s post is what I like to call Thanksgiving soup – a bunch of little things that are full of goodness and laughter that come together to give great flavor to my world.  It’s the simplest of things and people I encounter each day.  Times and encounters that can’t be plan, Fate brings them together.  We need to be paying attention to catch them.

This morning I got up to watch the Macy’s Day Parade – a Thanksgiving tradition of mine for many years.  Jay got up with me and we enjoyed a cup of hot tea, the Rockettes, and marching bands from all over the country.  About half way through, Cole got up and joined us.  There the three of us snuggled on the couch, laughing and playfully enjoying some fun.   It is these moments I have grown old enough and wise enough to cherish in my heart.  You can’t trade them.

I won’t bore you with the hundreds of other examples of the simple pleasures in life for which I am thankful.  But I will encourage you to slow down enough to enjoy a few for yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving.

All the best,

KK

Say Please and Thank You, and Rule the World

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One of the first things we learn is to say, “please” when requesting something and “thank you” when receiving. 20130408-225059.jpgThese two phrases work wonders in making progress on a task, duty or need. While these manners are taught young in life somewhere along the way they seem to wane and by adulthood for some they are entirely absent. Saying please and thank you shows respect for the other person and puts a value on what they are offering or can do.

Common courtesies and respectfulness to other humans seems to be losing out to everyone’s efforts to just ‘get a task done’ and selfish thinking. Instead of going through the day working our jobs and along the way building relationships, people are isolating themselves with a laptop and a cell phone and are all about just getting the job done. Its a very self-centered existence. This may please employers in a cut-throat environment, but it’s no way to build a life. Maybe the workplace has become so competitive there is little mutual respect because tomorrow the next guy may have your job. Seriously though, is that anyway to live AND build a career?

Back to the original thought, have you ever walked up to a counter to place an order only to be greeted by a server who is obviously harried and busy with customers. As the customer, you are thinking, that server’s job is to serve. But what about your responsibility in the exchange. Your role is to place your order. Given your observation of the server, what can you do to help the order-taking and the order-receiving process be 20130408-224945.jpgpositive for both? Just be kind and considerate — please and thank you. Try it sometime and see what happens.

As long as we are talking about basic manners, let’s venture into the world of technology. It is a wonderful thing and does provide opportunities to communicate and connect with others, but it is absolutely no substitute for person to person interaction — a phone call, visit or even hand-written note. Texting and email have their place, except when sensitive information is being shared. That is just rude. And if there is a problem being worked out, pick up the phone and call the person, don’t just pass emails back and forth. There is a great deal to be lost in the tone (real or perceived) in an email. If settling the problem and making things right with another person means that much, then it’s worth the time and effort to pick up the phone.

Thank you for reading my thoughts on the matter. Please take a minute to comment or even click follow on the right side.

All the best,

KK

It’s Just a Drop in the Bucket

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How many times is the question asked, “What does it matter”? It’s just a drop in the bucket; meaningless.  Every day we make drop in bucketthousands of declarations, I do, I don’t, I will, I can’t, yes, no, maybe.  Each of these little words leads to an action or no action, but all of them move us forward.  Put these declarations in a string and the results are decisions that pave the journey of life.  Meaningless – no decision is completely meaningless and all lead to experiences that make and mold who we are.   What impact will my decisions really have, I am one individual?

Recently, I was watching the Discovery Channel with my son.  The show talked about water molecules.  Water drops tend to reach and adhere to each other.  So two drops of water close enough on a plate or counter will join and become a bigger drop.  If you fill a cup to the rim the water molecules are clinging to each other and will sit on the very edge of the cup until some other action forces them over the edge.

This bucket was set under a dripping facet – one drip at a time and a few hours later the bucket was full.  One drip barely made tdrip in buckethe bucket wet, but in a short time there is enough to wash.

Choices and decisions may seem like nothing, but they all lead to something.  Where are you going?

All the best,

KK