Written Goals

Here we are at the end of January. Twenty-eight days of the new year complete. How are Meme that says There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.those New Year’s resolutions (#newyearsresolution) holding up for you? By now, many have given up. As I’ve shared with you, I’m a little behind on things and had to give myself permission to take the month to catch up. So far, so good.

The goals from last year have been reviewed, renewed or rewritten. There were several from that last year that did not get accomplished. While considering the reason, I realized that those were the goals that required someone or something outside of me or my control to accomplish.

For example, if the goal was to get a book traditionally published, well, that requires a publisher to accept it etc. But if the goal is to get my book completed, edited and sent to a publisher, then I am the only one who controls the success of that goal.

Another consideration was that some of the goals were really more like behaviors. A goal (#goals) might be to lose 10 pounds. A behavior change is to do something like eat healthy meals. Perhaps a behavior change will support accomplishing a goal. It’s too easy to write down a bunch of goals that will later overwhelm you. This year write three or four real goals to accomplish, but then commit to one or two behaviors you would like to change.

What will 2018 hold for you?

KK

 

 

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Do you need to go to the bathroom?

boys-and-girls-bathroom-signs-for-popular-girls-bathroom-signs-for-kids-diy-bathroom-door-signs-happiness-is-19There is an interesting social phenomenon among females that all these years later is still a mystery to me. The bathroom buddy system. Do I need to go to the bathroom? I’m pretty sure before middle school I hadn’t been asked that since I was two-years-old. It was a significant life-lesson for me to know the question had nothing to do with having to USE the facility. In middle school and high school, it’s not uncommon to see a gaggle of girls all going to the bathroom together. If you were female and not in the group going, it is likely you were the subject of conversation while the girls were using the facility, checking make-up, and brushing hair. At the end of a meal or at a given point in a social gathering one of the girls would say to the others, “do you need to go to the bathroom?”

The high school I attended (Christian Academy of Louisville, Rock Creek campus), had a girls room right off the cafeteria. This was a bathroom (single user) perhaps as big as 7′ x 5′. It included a sink with mirror, a toilet and, a radiator. While sharing “all the news on the gossip chain, we had a method for rotating turns in front of the mirror that included at least one of us sitting on the radiator, and someone standing on the back of the toilet. Of course, no one actually voided their bladder. This trip was all about primping and news gathering.

In college, the bathrooms got larger but were still a gathering place for the exchange of gossip. Girls still went to the bathroom in groups. There were more mirrors, sinks and now we had stalls for taking care of other personal activities. This is when the whole odyssey to the restroom changed for me. I still took the journey to the restroom with the girls, but it became a little weird to me to talk over the stalls. I don’t know, it just seems weird to me to have a normal conversation while doing that which should NEVER be shared with anyone. No one. That’s a little too intimate for me.

For me, the need for pairing up to go to the bathroom ended with college. If I’m the odd person out and become the topic of conversation, I consider it an honor. Spoiler alert, I’m not that interesting. Don’t waste your time. Part of this maturity may come from me really not caring to participate in the commentary of wardrobe, behaviors, parenting skills, or evaluations of the date someone came with. One of the most awkward social moments I’ve had as an adult is when another female in our party has stopped conversations to ask me if I wanted to go the bathroom. Not to embarrass them too much, I simply replied, “No, I’m good. Thanks.”

If I happen to run into someone coming in or at the mirror, I may chat. But sorry, I’m not having a conversation over the stall wall. Oh, and more than likely I won’t participate in epic gossip.

Just a thought,

KK

#metoo
#restroom

 

It’s been a while —

It has been a while, it’s been a mixed-up couple of months. Just this week I’ve started to feel like I’m coming out of the surreal and back into whatever my new reality will look like. Between KK's CandorDecember 12 and 22, I lost two very special people. One a good friend, the other my mother-in-law. One was expected, the other eminent, but not expected so soon. These on the heels of encouraging a co-worker through the death of three family members and oh, did I mention having my appendix removed?

What felt so unreal was that I had spoken to my friend just a couple of weeks before and I had spoken to my mother-in-law earlier that day. They were here and now they aren’t. Life is precious.

A few days after my mother-in-law passed away I listened to a voicemail she had left me earlier in the month. I just wanted to hear her voice before saying a final farewell. Some might find that morbid, but we all mourn differently. Then I deleted both from my contact list. But neither has gotten very far from my thoughts.

Needless to say given the timing of both of these deaths, our holidays were less than relaxing. And starting the new year, well there has been a trail of things to clean-up and finalize. It has taken me 19 days into 2018 to begin to feel like I’m getting order back to my home, and back to living somewhat of a routine-driven life.

For the last several weeks, I’ve taken care of my family and I’ve worked. Two things that are a priority. But I haven’t had much brain-space for the other things I want to do — read, write and stay true to my new year’s habits consider goals for the year. Don’t worry, we will get there. If you’ve followed KK’s Candor for long, you know that I am all for setting goals and creating order. Rest assured both are coming soon.

We still have some challenges to work through. But doesn’t everyone. We will get there with faith, love, and dedication.

Thank you for sticking with me. I look forward to moving forward in the year sharing with you the anecdotes of my life.

All the best,

KK

#grief

Extraordinary Moments

Many look to the Christmas season for memory-making. We get together with family and friends, share time and some fun. The best memories from these times aren’t the ones that are made to happen. The extraordinary memories are those moments that happen organically. They are extraordinary moments that fate brings together and that leave an impact on our hearts.

Recognize an extraordinary moment by being in the moment. Go through this holiday season and all of your activities, both new and the every-year traditions, focused on the place, the people and the activity. Be mindful to not let outside distractions rob you of a memory-making moment. Enjoy the events and times you will have in the coming weeks.

One of my favorite passages in the Christmas story is Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Mary wasn’t distracted by the stink of the barn, or the sounds of the animals, or possibly the disappointment of having her Mary-Film-The-Holy-Familyfirstborn far from home and away from family. It wasn’t her perfect plan, it was God’s, and she rolled with it. She took it all in.

While Mary’s extraordinary moment changed the course of history, ours probably won’t. But if we are paying attention and taking in the times that have potential, they may change the course of a relationship or even our lives.

Merry Christmas (#merrychristmas) season,

KK

 

 

 

Even If

Please take a few minutes before you continue to read to listen to this song by Mercy Me.

We would all like to believe that when things in life get tough that our convictions will stand strong. Well, things are tough right now. I’m waiting for the locust and frogs to show up (a little comic relief). At this point, there is so much out of my control, things I can’t just fix, that all I have to lean on is my faith. My husband and I hold on to each other and our belief in a God who is bigger than all our worries or concerns.

Are we perfect in remaining constant in our faith during the storm? No. On any given day or hour, there is an internal struggle between ego, self, and selflessness. This time in our lives is just as much about how we walk the journey in faith, and what we learn in the process, as it is about just getting to the other side.

We believe that every season, good or bad, is the opportunity to learn a little more about ourselves, grow personally and spiritually, and eventually be ready to encourage someone else in their journey.

On one level, going into the Thanksgiving holiday we have much we could wallow and moan about. But on more important levels we have much more to be thankful for. We have what we need, and those we care about are healthy and safe. Those are the things we will focus on tomorrow and each day after.

Be encouraged today, and reminded for tomorrow as you are enjoying time with family and friends (or being driven crazy by them), that there is always far more to be thankful for than to complain about. Stand firm in your beliefs even if things are not going as you planned.

Happy Thanksgiving. (#happythanksgiving)

KK

 

 

 

Sing a song, Dance a dance

Do you remember being little and twirling about? Or in your teens singing your favorite love song (into the hairbrush, on your bed or in front of the mirror) thinking of the ONE boy you were madly in love with? Maybe you can’t carry a tune and have two left feet, but singing and dancing are so good for us that they should not be ignored.animated-snoopy-image-0028

Dancing boosts memory, improves flexibility, reduces stress and depression, improves balance and makes your heart happy.

Singing has been said to strengthen your immune system, improves your posture, your sleep and reduces stress.

I know what you’re thinking all that singing and dancing around will make your family think you’ve gone nuts. Maybe it’s time to surprise your family. Sashay across the kitchen or twirl your way to the dinner table. Or maybe you just dance when no one is watching. And sing as loud as you as can when you are alone at home or in your car. Who cares what the grump in the car next to you thinks. It’s fun and frees the spirit.

We all have a happy dance inside somewhere. It’s time to let it out.

KK

#snoopydance

#happydance

 

 

 

 

 

Road Rage

 

aggressive-driver-or-road-rage-fanatic
Really, a hammer?

Road rage isn’t something I’ve struggled with. Sure there are times when I’m running behind and I get frustrated in traffic, but never angry. Usually, if I’m running behind it’s my own fault. But that’s not the issue at hand, we’ll talk timeliness another time. For my new full-time job, I commute to downtown Louisville.

 

On a good day, it takes me about 30 minutes. With the beginning of the school year, it seems everyone has returned from vacation and is back in their routine, driving to work downtown at the same time I do. The clogged highway has slowed me down in the morning. The other day I noticed as I crept along that I wasn’t angry but a little anxious. Not a normal emotion for me. So I turned on my “sing along” playlist.

This is the playlist of all the songs I love to sing along with. And when I’m alone, I like to sing very loud. In doing so, I no longer felt anxious and I gave my lungs a little workout. Walking into the office, I had a song in my heart and wasn’t all stressed from the ride in.

I may have found a cure for all those angry, crazed drivers. Sing! Here’s what’s great, no one can hear you, sing loud. Go ahead and flashback to those stand-on-your-bed with the hairbrush microphone moments. The escape will de-stress and change your spirit for the day.

KK

#roadrage