Category Archives: Holidays

Pretend, Imagination and Other Lies

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praying santaAmong young parents there is a growing number who have adopted the “we aren’t going to lie to our children” approach to parenting. This feeling is hovering around the issue of Santa Claus and his friends, the Easter bunny and Tooth Fairy. This mantra makes me wonder about how far this “honesty” goes. There are times when it is not appropriate to tell children the FULL truth. Many times we skirt the question, knowing they are too young for the answer. Where do babies come from?

What made me really think about lying to our kids was that there is no Santa Claus at Christmas and Easter bunny at Easter. Let me say here that I believe that Christmas and Easter were the most important events in human history. Both turned the hope of the world to the Eternal.

Ok, so the Easter bunny is a little odd, but Santa Claus comes from a real story of a priest who made sure that the hungry were fed. He did so out of selflessness and in anonymity; modeling our Savior’s example. I don’t understand why letting a child believe in this saint visit them for a few years is so wrong. And why not mix a little wonder in a time of miracles? Why not let a child know the fun of Christmas while learning the reverence?

If we aren’t going to lie about Santa, Easter bunnies and tooth fairies, then do we take away playing pretend and imaginary friends? There is no tea in that pot, you know. And the cookies taste like nothing because they aren’t really there. Really, you didn’t steal my nose… no imaginary friends; and oh, and Elf on the shelf isn’t really running around the house wreaking havoc. Where do we draw the line between truth and imagination with our children? Where is the light-heartedness and dreaminess of childhood?

Maybe Santa and the Bunny do add something else to Christmas and Easter that needs to be managed with children. Making sure they don’t outshine the birth of Jesus; and certainly being naughty or nice shouldn’t be the threat of the month. But if handled in the proper perspective, they add a little something to the holidays and a child’s innocent heart.

Reality and truth will come along soon enough and shove playing pretend, imagination and fantasy to the background.

Think about it…

KK

Gifting

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So it’s December 29th, time for true confessions.  How many of your gifts did you return or exchange?  Did any gift make it to the re-gift closet?  You know the obscure gift that you can’t return because there is no telling where it came from; probably a re-giftJ.

Let’s just establish that re-gifting is perfectly acceptable.  Why waste a perfectly good item just because it’s not useful to you?  You have to be careful though, to re-gift to the original giver of the gift can be disastrous!  Not to mention embarrassing for both.  Here are a few thoughts on re-gifting.  When you place the item in the re-gift closet put a post-it on it with who gave it to you and when.  Additionally, don’t break the seal or “factory” wrapping.  Before re-gifting, be sure to dust it off well and be sure there aren’t remnants of wrapping paper or a card stuck to it.gifts

I did not receive anything that needed returning or exchanging this year.  What is really great is that those who gave me gifts did so based on what they know and love about me.  This to me is the number one rule in choosing a gift – know your recipient.  There is as much excitement in choosing the perfect gift for someone as there is in receiving the perfect gift.  While I don’t mind when someone gives me ideas, it is also a blast to choose something that I know the recipient will love, but may not have thought to ask for it.

Many of us have everything we need.  When we have the opportunity to choose gifts for those we love, why not take a few minutes to really think about the other person.  What could you give them that they would enjoy and might not otherwise buy for themselves?  The gifts I received this year were all very thoughtful; obviously those giving me gifts thought about me and what I would like.

The art of gift giving is one that I think is fading to that which is easy – the gift card.  The gift card is good because you are thinking about the other person, but we have to be careful to not let this be our default.  Take some time.  Make your gift meaningful.

The art of packaging or wrapping gifts went down a slippery slope with the advent of the gift bag.  For some, the gift bag was their salvation and a relief in the pressure of giving a gift.  My mother makes wrapping a gift and the bow on top an art form.  She pulls the color-coordinated ribbon around the package and then ties a big pretty bow on top.  Then she spends a few more minutes making small adjustments to the bow to be sure it’s perfect.  No doubt a beautiful package shows the recipient that love and care was taken not only in choosing the gift but in preparing it for giving.

In full disclosure, I did purchase a couple of gift cards this year because I didn’t plan well and ran out of time.  This just gives me a head start on these two gifts for next year.

Happy gift-giving,

KK

Not so Holy Feeling

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The remnants of sand and dirt felt crusty on Mary’s face from the long day’s journey and the ebb and flow of pain and sweat. The hard pain – the overwhelming stench – the crowds.  An hour from town there are tribes setting up camp everywhere.  How many more are crammed into this small town, Bethlehem?  The noise pounding in her head – the pains coming closer and closer. Oh, to just lie down.

Mary waited outside the inn for what seemed an eternity for Joseph to return.  His demeanor screamed as loud as Mary’s pain that he had failed.  There were no rooms.  The best he could provide was the privacy of the innkeeper’s barn.  A gentle touch on the shoulder from Joseph reminded Mary that he had done his best and was sorry it wasn’t better.  He wasn’t in charge of how the events of this night were unfolding.  The final steps to their accommodations were the worst on Mary’s swollen feet.

Joseph slid the barn door open only to gag from the disgusting odor.  Seems the barn was as full as the streets with visitors.  Asking one final thing of Mary, to wait in the fresher air outside while he found some straw and made bedding for her.  She submitted to her betrothed.  He didn’t sign up for this, but he certainly stepped up.

Together they slowly and gingerly walked in out of the cool night.  As he helped Mary lie down, she let out a scream from the pain.  Finally, free to let out the truth and anguish she felt.  The animals rustled and made noises like an out of tune orchestra.  Upon noticing their unexpected human guest, as if they knew who they were hosting, they laid down and became still.  As she settled in and became accustomed to the smells, sights and sounds.  She prayed.  God, we wanted better for your son.

It was a long and unfamiliar night for both Mary and Joseph; Mary too young to know much about birthing a child and Joseph too innocent.  Men didn’t get involved when a baby was coming.  But tonight was not about tradition or decorum – it was about changing the world – it was about hope and eternity colliding with all that humans thought was “normal”.  A new covenant squeezed into this night.

His birth wasn’t pretty.  Jesus joined humanity as a wiggly, slippery baby.  Mary was scared but led by what came instinctive and natural.  Joseph was awkwardly doing his best to provide blankets and a towel to wash the boy who would return the favor someday.

This night didn’t feel very holy, but it was real.  No airs or regal greeting parties for the King of Kings.  His mother felt the pains, his earthly father the helplessness, him the trauma every human baby in history feels during birth.  It was the heavenly Father who felt joy knowing He sent an invitation through Jesus. He knew he would get his son back and when He did, Jesus would bring all of the rest of His children.

The night was finally silent.  Mary could breathe without pain.  Joseph settled in next to his family. Mary-Film-The-Holy-Family For the first time since Genesis the world would be still and rest in the hope of Him who came to love, serve and save.

May every night of your coming days bring stillness, hope and peace in Jesus Christ.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

KK

Santa Claus – The Man the Legend…

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The Legend of St. Nicholas
The legend of Santa Claus can be traced back hundreds of years to a monk named St. Nicholas. It is believed that Nicholas was born sometime around 280 A.D. in Patara, near Myra in modern-day Turkey. Much admired for his piety and kindness, St. Nicholas became the subject of many legends. It is said that he gave away all of his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. One of the best known of the St. Nicholas stories is that he saved three poor sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution by their father by providing them with a dowry so that they could be married. Over the course of many years, Nicholas’s popularity spread and he became known as the protector of children and sailors. His feast day is celebrated on the anniversary of his death, December 6. This was traditionally considered a lucky day to make large purchases or to get married. By the Renaissance, St. Nicholas was the most popular saint in Europe. Even after the Protestant Reformation, when the veneration of saints began to be discouraged, St. Nicholas maintained a positive reputation, especially in Holland. (ref. http://www.history.com)

Throughout the years and across cultures, St. Nicholas has taken on new looks. After the American Revolution, the term Santa Claus was adopted by Americans from the Dutch. Artists and poets began to paint the picture of a jolly giving man with a red suit.

My favorite image of Santa is the praying Santa. This for me encompasses the truth and the fantasy we find at Christmas. Please praying santaunderstand that the MOST important reason for any celebration at Christmas is the miraculous birth of the Lord; that being made the priority, consider how Santa can fold into this time and celebration.

As stated above, the man of Saint Nicholas was a faithful, giving man who looked out for “the least of these.” He gave up his wealth in caring for others. Sounds like characteristics he modeled from Christ.

As far as allowing our children to believe in the “jolly elf” who comes down the chimney, ask yourself this: in our world there is so much joy-robbing, negative, fast-paced, cynical information and attitudes why not allow our children the magic and fun of Santa Claus coming to bring gifts? We allow our children to have imaginary friends and pretend tea parties; why not allow them to enjoy the fun of Santa? As our children mature they outgrow those wonders of childhood anyway. With the right guidance there will be the appropriate shift from the fantasy of Santa to the forgiveness of Christ.

I do believe in all that Saint Nicholas lived for and the Savior he followed. I have learned to manage the hustle and bustle of this season to make room to remember the wonder of Christ’s birth; to truly take in the profoundness of His birth that set motion a new destiny for eternity.

Think about it,
KK

Ho, Ho, Ho, Who do You Know?

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st. nickI’ve been thinking about Santa Claus.  Recently, while talking with friends with younger children I learned a lot about what younger parents are doing and letting their children believe about Santa.  Before I weigh in on the jolly one, I’d like your thoughts on the matter.  What were you told as a child?  How is that the same or different than how you are raising your children?  Your thoughts please, then stay tuned.

All the best,

KK

6 Things I’m grateful for – One at a Time – Number 1

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sqeasy vegetable soupThanksgiving Soup

I’ve been thinking a lot about what todays grateful item would be.  Reading over the previous five I am hopeful that much more of what I’m thankful for has been woven throughout.  I didn’t want today’s post to be the typical things like faith, family and friends.  You did read those things into the other posts, right?  If not, here they are; I am very thankful for my faith the holds me steady, my family that always stands firm with me, and my friends who encourage me and add so much to my life.

Today’s post is what I like to call Thanksgiving soup – a bunch of little things that are full of goodness and laughter that come together to give great flavor to my world.  It’s the simplest of things and people I encounter each day.  Times and encounters that can’t be plan, Fate brings them together.  We need to be paying attention to catch them.

This morning I got up to watch the Macy’s Day Parade – a Thanksgiving tradition of mine for many years.  Jay got up with me and we enjoyed a cup of hot tea, the Rockettes, and marching bands from all over the country.  About half way through, Cole got up and joined us.  There the three of us snuggled on the couch, laughing and playfully enjoying some fun.   It is these moments I have grown old enough and wise enough to cherish in my heart.  You can’t trade them.

I won’t bore you with the hundreds of other examples of the simple pleasures in life for which I am thankful.  But I will encourage you to slow down enough to enjoy a few for yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving.

All the best,

KK

Tis the Season

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For the last eight years February was the beginning, March was the get ready and April was GO! The ritual hasn’t changed come rain, sleet, snow and sunshine, THIS is the start of the big season. Over the years the prep time has grown to the point of not really feeling like the season ever ends. Are we finishing that one or getting ready for this one? And over the years, while still full of hustle and bustle, the season has become more enjoyable; so much so that even I am looking forward to getting things going.

We’ve made our annual pilgrimage that feels (and costs) a lot like buying school supplies, to the sporting goods store. We’ve checked the list and made sure the supplies are ready…

Pants, check. Socks and belt, check. Cup, check. Water bottle, check. Stadium seats, check. Sunflower seeds, check. Camera, check. Clothing for any and all kinds of weather, check. Hand warmers, check.

The season of which I’m referring and currently planning for is none other than youth baseball season! You were thinking that, right?

This will be the first year for metal cleats. That’s my boy behind the plate, don’t you slide into home and into his pretty face with those spikes! Thinking it, not saying it…I learned several years ago the best position for me to play during the game; number one fan! I’m at just about every game in the stands and cheering our team on. Win or lose, good game or bad, I’m proud of my player and his team for preparing and showing up to play their best on the field.

Little league and now collegiate baseball is amazing. We watch our kids grow from picking flowers in the outfield when they are five years old to being young men who play their position with skill and precision. They stand tall and are proud of the team they represent. Win or lose they show the character of the men they are becoming when they encourage the opposing team.

The coaches, us parents don’t always understand their game strategy, but we trust them with our boys not only because of baseball 1their knowledge of the game, but because they will help us show our sons what it is to be a man with values and integrity. Our boys need good coaches and we have been so blessed to have many. Some of the parents get a little weird and a little over the top when the umpire is having a bad day. But within minutes after the final run is scored, it’s the boys who are bugging around talking highlights, tossing a ball around having already forgotten the bad calls.

I do love all the things that make youth baseball great: the game strategies, being outside on a sunny day watching our boys play with absolutely nothing electronic but the scoreboard, the crack of the bat or the whap when the ball hits the catcher’s mitt and the excitement when the perfect play is made.

With the final flakes of snow melting away, our team will take the field this weekend having shaken the dust off their bats, grown in maturity, taller in stature, and better in skill. I can’t wait to see what happens! Win or lose, it will be a good season.

All the best,
KK

Gray Thursday

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It has been a long-standing tradition in families across America that on Thanksgiving Thursday after over-stuffing on the turkey and fixings the football fans retire to take their naps in front of a bowl game.  Meanwhile the shoppers in the family spread the newspaper ads out on the table and create their strategy for black Friday shopping.

In recent years the internet entered the scene as the shoppers made their plans for black Friday referencing the difference in pricing online and those in the stores.  When there is less than a month and a list of gifts, all resources must be utilized.  But that is where the line should be drawn.

Last week several retailers announced that their black Friday deals would begin at 10 p.m. the night before.  The night before…that would be Thanksgiving night; grant it, shopping for Christmas can sometimes be hard to complete when it’s an important time to go to parties with friends and take the spiritual journey of the season, but is it necessary to squeeze out Thanksgiving Day?

Is it not worth a full 24 hours of life to slow down long enough to be thankful, stuff ourselves and enjoy time with family?  Now those 24 hours are being encroached on by retailers trying to create frenzy, and have their day in the media.

The family tradition at the beginning of the piece many times ends with family playing cards or watching a movie together, not charging the door of Wal-Mart to save little, and stand in line all night.  Where are our priorities?  Are they on the people we are shopping for and the important times we spend with them? Retailers would have you believe that to show your love to that special someone, you absolutely MUST leave them at the Thanksgiving table, and go buy them stuff.

If we are not careful, Thanksgiving Thursday is going to become, Gray Thursday – another historical holiday lost in commercialism.

Think about it.

All the best,

KK

A Wonder-filled Christmas moment

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Heavenly Father,

Allow us to draw near to you on that day in Bethlehem.  Help us to feel the jostling of the crowd as Joseph led the donkey with his beloved aboard; knowing that while you were the Father, he was the man to care for your chosen and your son.  May we know the worry on his face and in his heart as inn after inn they were turned away?  The city was full.  There was no room.  How like it is today with the over shadowing of gifts, parties and food that we forget to take care of that which is eternal.  Do we even notice?

Give us the opportunity, Lord, to be still, to experience that holy night.  Permit us to put the noise of the city and the commotion of too many distractions aside and see the star that you set in the sky at creation.  We take a deep breath and push our way through the crowd to follow the star and focus on that moment you pre-ordained to change the course of history as those in the City of David knew it.

It’s hard to push aside the distractions and find our way to the edge of town.  No one really noticed our exit, our following that poor, tired family to the barn.  Where are they going?  Another over crowded building that stinks!  Joseph, you can’t let the Savior of the world be born there!  He is tired and has tried his earthly best to find a bed for his betrothed.  Grant us this moment to feel his unworthiness.  Does he realize his human efforts are all in your plan?

Oh, the stench of too many animals and not enough manpower to keep the guests room clean much less the barn.  The first blow of air as the doors are open brings Joseph to almost puke, but he pushes the door open to allow for some fresh air as he makes space for Mary.  He gingerly helps her off the donkey and to the pallet of a thin blanket and some hay.

 Mary was not spared the pain of childbirth; but it didn’t matter.  Scream all you want Mary, the animals will empathize and the people are too busy and noisy to notice.  She takes a deep breath with the pain only to choke on the stench.  Joseph wipes her sweat and then that of his own.  His ordinary life is about to change for the extra-ordinary.  The moment in time that will change the world and the world isn’t even paying attention.

Father, please pull us near in these next few hours and let us be there with you.  For in the last scream of pain you pushed into this world just as promised.  The baby that was fully God and fully human squeezed into this world and now wants to squeeze into our hearts.  May we clear the clutter of our lives for Him?

Let the world stand still just this night, Lord, bring the peace, and the Savior into our hearts where He might live tonight and every day and night to follow.  Breathe into our homes and lives the spirit of the miracle and wonder of Christmas. It is not for us to understand it all, but just accept with faith that extra-ordinary measure you took, using ordinary people, in an ordinary town one night – the most holy of nights.

Amen.

My Friend and Reader,

Feel free to pass this post to someone you know and care about.  Knowing Christmas for the Savior who came will be the best gift ever.

All the best,

KK

The darkest part of the winter

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Recently my brother inspired me with a thought – the darkest part of the winter is when the light of the world was born.  That will make you think.  It’s Christmas week.  I’ve pondered and prayed on what I would share with you this season.

The darkest part of the winter – winter can be this icy cold season we are in now.  The life nature usually shares is dormant and ice covered.  Or maybe your dark winter is a lonely cold season of life you are in.  Darkness and cold can be scary.

Just when we are tired of the short days, slowly they begin to get longer.  Light comes and stays a little longer.  The season progresses along and hearts thaw to warmth of light.  But to take in the light and warmth we have to face it and accept it.

On a very dark night, some Shepherds were just doing their job watching their flock.  It was late, the darkest part of the night; perhaps right before the sun came up.  Instead of the sun, an angel and a sky full of heavenly hosts appeared to them.  Wow, can you imagine, they must have all thought they were hallucinating!!  Each may have looked to the other to be sure he wasn’t the only one seeing this.  The first thing the angel said to them was “do not be afraid.”  Too late, but thanks for the offer. (Read the full text in your Bible, Luke 2:1-20).

If the shepherds had been so afraid that they ran away, they would have never heard the rest of the message God was sending.  Sometimes we get lost in the darkest part of our winter, and when the light comes, we are afraid and hide from it.  We need to know darkness so that we may know the light.

In your dark winter moments, I encourage you to take a few minutes each day to listen for God, invite Him to join you.  But I have to warn you, when the Light of Life comes, be ready for the darkness to leave.  Just like the day light staying a little longer in the second half of winter, each day that we seek God, He and His word stay a little longer.

All the best,

KK