Category Archives: Goals

Motivated by Fear

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Fear gets a bad rap. Fear shouldn’t be a primary emotion or state of being; but it does have value. There is respectable fear of those in authority; or the awareness that comes from the fear of walking down a dark street at night. What about the fear that motivates?

In 2010 when I was unemployed, the fear of letting a depressinfearlessg situation overtake me got me out of bed every morning and kept me from going back to bed when I was home alone. When my jeans get a little tight, the fear of “out-growing” them motivates me to eat a little healthier so as to not gain unwanted weight.

The Bible says that the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Godly wisdom birthed from fear leads to knowledge and life according to several passages. Something so unwanted as the emotion of fear can lead to a greater understanding of ourselves and our great and powerful God.

Fear has a dark side. Fear can be paralyzing. In those frozen moments it takes character, fortitude and faith to look beyond the fear to what happens when it is overcome.

Think about it.

All the best,
KK

Don’t Fall Over Your Pride…

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Rarely is pride spoken of in a positive manner. “Pride goeth before a fall,” a most familiar proverb, is a caution to not let self absorption take over so as to lose sight of the bigger need or picture. But consider the good that is found in taking pride in a job or task well done.

In doing a job, project or task that turns out well what is that surge, the emotion that wells up inside and is evidenced by standing a little taller. Doing well breeds confidence. Confidence in wise hands continues to build success. However, confidence and pride overstated can be blinding.

What is the balance? What legacy is left if there is a trail of half-hearted projects or work? What is taught to the next generation if the appropriate balance of humility and pride is not learned?

Is pride a bad thing? Heavens no! How honoring it is to parents, teachers, mentors to see those in their care try hard and do their very best.

Think about it,
KK

Let’s Talk About Pet Peeves

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After I outlined this post I put it aside, you know to let it ruminate.  When I came back to the subject I noticed that half of the pet peeves listed were character traits in other people.  One definition of “pet peeve” is a complaining, teasing, or annoying behavior; which begs the question as to whether it’s worth carrying these things as pet peeves if I can’t change these behaviors in other people.checklist

That’s right, there comes a point in our lives when we are old enough and wise enough to realize, we can’t change other people only they can make a personal decision to change.  And what bugs us about other people may not bother them at all.  So really these pet peeves may or may not be seen as right in the eyes of another individual and in such a case, I look judgmental and not like a person who just wants to make a difference in this world.

That leaves me with two pet peeves I will share with you and then open the floor for you to share.  First of all, receipts.  I can go in a store and purchase a pack of gum with cash and end up with a receipt the length of my arm.  Wasn’t all of this electronic scanning and debit cards created to reduce the amount of paper it takes to make a transaction?  Do retailers really care about my opinions on the survey that the bottom of the mile-long receipt invites me to participate?  Because I am one of those who balance my checkbook, I do keep receipts for a period of time, but the bulging envelop turns out to be half the transactions and half a bunch of information I never read, or coupons I never use.  And as long as we are talking about making retail transactions, is it necessary (Sears) to have my phone number to make a purchase?  Would they know if I gave them a fake or old disconnected number?  I may try that next time.

The other peeve I will share is wasting time.  In the course of my day, I’m pretty much in perpetual motion or work type activity from the time I get up until late evening when my son is in bed and I feel like I can take a little time for me.  So, to have some non-important something slow me down or stop me is annoying.  Do I ever stop to watch television or check out Facebook?  Yes, but I don’t spend hours doing either one and most of the time if I’m watching television it is part of my personal downtime or time with my family.  As a parent of a middle school student, there is a lot of time spent taking him to practices or having him at school activities.  This is not a waste of time, but I find myself with odd periods of time waiting for him that I try to make productive by taking work along or a book to read.  Rarely do I ever “kill” time.  What I do watch out for is that I’m teaching my son the balance between living a productive non-wasteful life and living in such a manner so as to not rush or over-plan every moment of the day.  There are extraordinary things that happen to us and around us in the spontaneity of life that need to be experienced; slowing down to listen to a spouse share their day or a child ask a question or tell of an adventure, watch the sunset or notice a child playing; taking a call from a friend in need or who has good news to share.   You know the important things in life that will outlast any daily schedule, remind us of our priorities and are like pushing the reset button on our patterns of thinking.

“People over progress” is a mantra that I took on several years ago when I did find myself so over planned and dedicated to my daily lists to be available for those who mean the most to me.  Most of the time, people are not a waste of time.

Well this post didn’t go exactly the way I expected, but that’s ok, it accomplished the goal.  Are you re-thinking your pet peeves?  What are they?

All the best,

KK

Have you done it yet?

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Welcome to the end of the first week of January.  Last week you started the month and the year with high-hopes and lofty resolutions.  Now that things are settling down to normal and the kids are headed back to school, it’s time to solidify those resolutions into goals that you can work toward accomplishing in the next 358 days.

With clear and realistic thinking, sit down and write your goals for 2013.  You’ve heard that the journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step; writing your goal down is the first step.  Your goal becomes real when you see it staring back at you from the page.  It becomes your destination and map for a new journey this year.  Then take the second step and write under the goal the first five action items to accomplishing your goal.

For example, one of my goals is to read at least 12 books this year and at least two of them need to be new authors and genres for me.  So under the goal I number lines one through twelve.  Now I just go to work filling in the blanks.  I know a book a month doesn’t seem like much, but realistically I have little time in my day to read, so I know it’s attainable given my work and family obligations.  Last year, I would have read more, but one of the books I chose was painfully slow.  But I finished it and am glad I stuck with it.

Can’t think of anything you would like to accomplish this year?  Ask yourself a couple of questions:  if I could do one thing to improve my situation, financially, physically, mentally or emotionally, what would it be?  What do you need to do to accomplish this?

If it helps and you want someone to hold you accountable, share your goals with a trusted friend and give them permission to ask you throughout the year about how you are doing toward your goal.  Having gone through this exercise every year for the past 20 plus years, setting goals has become a part of my psyche, I’m pretty good at holding myself accountable; ok except for exercise goals, these I stink at.

One thing is true, if you write nothing down; set no goals, you are likely to be the exact same physically, mentally or emotionally as you are right this minute.  Even if you don’t fully accomplish the goal you write down, any effort toward that goal is better than no effort at all.  In the end, you will celebrate all the steps of your journey even if you didn’t reach your destination.  That’s what 2014 will be about.

Let me know how it’s going,

KK

January 1st

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new yearI’m pretty sure that January first is the most optimistic day of the year. For most it’s a holiday; a day without a schedule. One person wrote that it was their first “stress-free” day of the year. Unlike starting a new page on the calendar, we start a new calendar, 365 days free from all the obligations that will come with the reality of tomorrow.

Today, many will make resolutions and set goals; some of which will stick and they will be better for it. No one ever resolves to take up a bad habit or sets a goal to gain 10 pounds. The resolutions and goals are positive changes of general self-improvement.

Today we look forward with hope with tunnel vision toward the good that coming days will bring. Will all of the days be as “stress-free” as today? Not a chance. But today there is hope for more good days than bad; more successes than failures and wisdom enough to appreciate both.

Happy new 365 days.

All the best,
KK

Saturday, January 21, 2012

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“We always over estimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in five years.” – Source unknown

It’s Saturday, January 21st and most people who made New Year’s resolutions have given up.  It’s been too cold or life got busy again getting back to the routine of work and school. Resolutions or goals are like running a marathon.  Runners don’t bust off the line and burn all of their energy in the first mile; they plan their pace to accomplish the time they want across the finish line.

So, did you blast off on January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd?  Below are few suggestions for reloading those goals and re-committing.

First, be realistic.  Runners don’t just get up one morning and decide to win a race.  They start with training and really having a passion for racing.  Go back and review the resolution or goal you wrote down (you did write it down, or do I need to go back further on goal setting).  Did you set too many goals or make too many resolutions? Maybe choose only one or two to really commit to.  Do you have the ability and desire to accomplish the goal within the year?   If either is in question, keep reading as we further look at reloading.

Second, give yourself a new start date.  January 1st is a natural calendar start, but goals can be started anytime.  If the first quarter of the year is very busy for you in one area of your life, you may need to set a start date further out.   My goals are written by the end of the first week of January, but my start date isn’t until February 1st.  This allows me a month to plan for them, pray over them and really commit to working toward accomplishing them.

Third, break the goal down into bite size chunks.  Runners usually start out walking or running smaller races to train and get in shape.  What are the steps to accomplishing your goal?  Do you need to take a class?  Do you need to plan for some activity toward that goal each week?  Take the piece of paper you wrote the goal on (you did write it down, didn’t you) and under the goal write the steps to accomplishing it.  Then go through and give each step a deadline.  Are your deadlines doable with your other responsibilities?  Add these deadlines to the calendar you live by; if it’s electronic then set reminders for yourself.

Fourth, keep your goal fresh.  Set a date five or six months from your start to revisit the goal.  Do you still want to accomplish this?  How are you doing? Do you need to adjust your goal to better fit your time, ability and resources?

By writing your goals and making them work within your passion, lifestyle and resources, you are taking control.  When you take charge of your goals and resolutions, you will accomplish more than if you give up before the end of the first month; and even more will be accomplished if you write the goal down.  Every day is a new start, every week is a new beginning and every month is a fresh commitment.

See you at the finish line,

KK

Is it Confidence or Arrogance?

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What is the difference between being confident and being arrogant?  Is it attitude or spirit?

Confidence by definition is full trust; belief in the reliability of a person or thing.  Confidence either comes from something inside or something outside us.  To be confident is having strong belief or full assurance.   Where does the ability to be confident come from?

Confidence is built from many blocks of successes we have in our lives.  A child learning to walk starts out wobbly and unsure, but with every successful step forward, the child stands straighter.   The same holds true for each of our successes in life and career.  As a parent, each time we handle something well with our child, our confidence builds.  In our career, with each successful position or project our confidence builds and we move forward.

Arrogance by definition is a feeling of superiority or an offensive exhibition of it; presumptuous or overbearing conduct, statements, resulting from such a feeling.   Like confidence, arrogance comes from within but the results can be much different.  To be arrogant we are showing pretensions and superiority.  There is little room for any of us to come across better than the next.  Nobody knows everything, and everybody makes mistakes.  True character is shown in how we handle those mistakes.

Let me encourage you to be confident that you will make mistakes.  But don’t let those mistakes be masked by an arrogant spirit.  Be real and if others don’t understand, then they may have an arrogance issue.

Let me also encourage you to be confident in the gifts and talents you have.  Use them to show others they can be confident in you.

What do you think?

All the best,

KK

8 Days Later

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Today is January 8, 2011.  We have tasted the new year and have stepped back into our post holiday schedule; work, school, life. There are 357 days left in 2011, what are you going to do with them? What do you WANT to do with them?  We are completely guilty of burning entire days on nothingness.  Ok, so there are “have-to’s” in every day.  We have to work to provide for our families.  We have to take care of our families, because we love them and they need us.  There is great joy in the responsibility of family.  But what about those other hours of the day we blow on TV or video games or mindless cruising of the internet. (I’m not opposed to mindless wandering of the internet if that’s what led you to read this.)

Consider for yourself the meaningfulness of your life.  Is the content of your days like a fruit salad? Light and tasty but it doesn’t stick with you long? Or are your days meaty.  You know, do the experiences of your day stick with you or even change you?  Yes, I said the “change” word.  Some would say they are too old to change.  Ok, so let’s try on the word, grow.  Are you ever too old to grow spiritually, emotionally or intellectually?  Let me help you here, NO.  This life thing we are on is a journey.  The people we meet, the books we read and the experiences we have should change us; help us to grow into the person God wants us to be.  How much more interesting are we as individuals if we broaden our horizons beyond the water-cooler mindless droning of our medias?

Like a recipe for a good meal, we have to be purposeful in adding the ingredients that will give a little bit of sweet, a little salty and the meat that will stick and build us up.  To be purposeful, we have to understand what we want in the end.  We need to know what our goal is. For me, the meat of my day usually comes from something I’ve read, heard on the radio, news articles or talking with someone smarter than I. 

My overall goal or mission in life is to make a difference.  At the end of the day, week, month, year or my life, all I want is to make a difference.  So, each year I write personal goals that lead me spiritually, professionally and intellectually.  It is well known that goals are more likely to be met when they are written and reviewed daily.  I write goals every year, but I only review them every now and then.  Yes, many of my goals are accomplished but not all and not the big ones.

Hopefully, the few minutes you have invested in reading this will pay you returns.  My goal is to leave you hungry for growth and change.  Find that spark within you that will foster your motivation.

Happy New Year, friends.  I look forward to our year and the many adventures we will have together.  May you and your family have a healthy blessed year.

All the best,

KK

New Year and New Lessons sermon from Dave Stone, Southeast Christian Church, listen and be inspired.  http://www.southeastchristian.org/?page=3476&project=85385&program=334912

It’s not too late to set the goal

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Those close to me know that my thing isn’t New Year’s resolutions, its setting goals.  Your goals don’t have to be decided on January first; too much hype.  On New Year’s Day we are all excited about the new year and we think about ALL the things we think we can accomplish or change in the next 364 days.  We are off work and we aren’t thinking right about how many hours in the day there are.  However, goals should be written by the end of the first week of January.  This will allow for the hype and excitement of the new year to settle down a little bit and you can think of your goals in the reality of going back to work and school.

So, here we are at the end of the first week.  What do you want to change or accomplish in 2010? You may not want to change anything, simply grow in an area of your life.  I am a true believer of being a life-long learner.  Among other things, I always add a goal that will provide for me an opportunity to learn.  Maybe you would like to learn to sew or ballroom dance.  Whatever it is, even if you are not sure how you will accomplish it, write it down.

After you have made your list of potential goals, review your list and choose the top four things that you believe to be specific, measurable and possible.  Writing your goals down makes them real.  Picture the accomplishment as you write.

Generally, after I’ve written my goals, I use January to develop my plan.  I never rush in to get started.  Pace yourself so you don’t fizzle out.  Eighty percent of New Year’s resolutions (goals) have been forgotten by February first.  You’ve got your written goals, take time in January to find out how to accomplish them.  How will you fit into your normal routine this goal or the activities that will lead to its accomplishment?  Will you need to take a class?  Do you need to find a book on a subject?  If your goal is to exercise more, find the activity or activities that you enjoy that will help you accomplish that goal.  What exercise can you do when it’s cold and you are stuck inside?  What exercise can you do outside when the weather is warmer?  Take a week or so and really figure out how you will accomplish the goal.

THEN by the last week of January or early February start working toward that goal.  By waiting and getting the information you need you will incorporate the goal into your regular weekly schedule.  Having a new activity or a revitalized old activity or goal will give newness to February (a typically dreary month).

Around July fourth, pull out your written goals and review them.  Are these still goals you want to accomplish?  Has one risen above the rest and is taking more time?  Use July as a reboot to your desire to accomplish something in the year.  My birthday is in May, that’s when I review things.

I have written my goals for years.  I have several categories:  physical, spiritual, financial and personal.  Some years I accomplish one thing in one category.  That’s more than I might have had I not written anything down.  There have been years when I simply transferred goals from one year to the next after reviewing and renewing my interest in them.  Other years, I’ve accomplished more than 90% of what I had written.  Whether the goal is accomplished or moved into the next year, by writing them down, the awareness of the goal becomes real.

I could go on and explain to you how to look at your goal and break it down into smaller pieces and set benchmarks, but you can ask Steve Covey about all that.  Today, I encourage you to write it down, figure out how to get it done, and go after it!

Achieving goals isn’t rocket science, it’s about dedication and a little discipline and sometimes being uncomfortable for your own betterment.

Last year it wasn’t my own accomplishment that I was in awe, it was that of my older sister.  She gave up smoking.  She had smoked the better part of her adult life and admitted that it was an addictive behavior.    I don’t exactly know what made her decide that it was time, but she made the decision and committed herself to the effort.  It wasn’t easy.  She struggled.  We celebrated milestones with her of 30, 60 and 90 days.  Then it was 100 days.  After that in our minds, she was a non-smoker.  Along the way she shared with me some of the challenges both emotional and physical in giving up the habit.  She struggled when she walked past someone smoking.  She missed the activity of smoking.  But she stayed the course.  Yes, she gained some weight, so she started walking in the evenings and cycling.

Her goal of giving up one bad habit led her to choose a healthier activity.  Gail, I am so very proud of you.

One of my goals last year was to have something published.  I didn’t.  But during the course of the year and working to improve my writing, I found the NANOWRIMO (www.nanowrimo.org)  world wide challenge to write 50,000 words (or a novel) in one month.  I took the challenge with the support of my husband and son.  In 28 days, I wrote 50,798 words!  And I finished a rough draft of my first novel.  I wrote on average 1,700 words a day.  Yes, I gave up some TV time and spent a few lunch hours writing.  But I did something that others only talk about and something I’ve wanted to do all my life.  It was a big deal to me.  But it wasn’t what I started out to do.  If I hadn’t been focused on the goal of bettering my writing, I would not have come across the NANOWRIMO challenge. 

You may journey toward one goal only to find yourself accomplishing something else.  That’s great too.  Do you get my point here?  Be encouraged to not just float through life saying “someday I will…” and never get around to it.  We can blame work or busyness on not accomplishing goals.  Take charge of your time; carve out time to do something that will better you or your life.

Let me know how it goes.

All the best,
KK

Shout to the world and make a difference…

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For the past couple of days there has been a dog on the beach.  A beautiful Labrador type dog would just stand on the edge of the surf and bark at the ocean. There were no boats or swimmers for him to bark at, he was just barking.  It made me wonder, what was that dog thinking?  What was he trying to say?

If you stand on the edge of the ocean and scream some great message that will change the world, the sound of the waves breaking may drowned you out. 

If you stand on the edge of the ocean and throw a rock you have started a ripple that will last until some force stops it.  Ripples work alone.

If I go into the ocean then I can carry my message to others.  There will be times when the waves try to knock me down but if you go with me and hold my hand, then we can strengthen each other against the waves.

IF is a big word that carries a lot of weight.  It’s the difference between thinking about doing something that will make a difference and actually DOING it.

Be careful, you could IF your way through life and get to the end having never experienced the strength something as big as or bigger than the ocean has to offer.  If you have something to tell the ocean or those who live on its edges, carry your message to anyone who will listen and invite them to join you in your journey to making a difference.

Think about it,
KK