Let’s Talk About Pet Peeves

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After I outlined this post I put it aside, you know to let it ruminate.  When I came back to the subject I noticed that half of the pet peeves listed were character traits in other people.  One definition of “pet peeve” is a complaining, teasing, or annoying behavior; which begs the question as to whether it’s worth carrying these things as pet peeves if I can’t change these behaviors in other people.checklist

That’s right, there comes a point in our lives when we are old enough and wise enough to realize, we can’t change other people only they can make a personal decision to change.  And what bugs us about other people may not bother them at all.  So really these pet peeves may or may not be seen as right in the eyes of another individual and in such a case, I look judgmental and not like a person who just wants to make a difference in this world.

That leaves me with two pet peeves I will share with you and then open the floor for you to share.  First of all, receipts.  I can go in a store and purchase a pack of gum with cash and end up with a receipt the length of my arm.  Wasn’t all of this electronic scanning and debit cards created to reduce the amount of paper it takes to make a transaction?  Do retailers really care about my opinions on the survey that the bottom of the mile-long receipt invites me to participate?  Because I am one of those who balance my checkbook, I do keep receipts for a period of time, but the bulging envelop turns out to be half the transactions and half a bunch of information I never read, or coupons I never use.  And as long as we are talking about making retail transactions, is it necessary (Sears) to have my phone number to make a purchase?  Would they know if I gave them a fake or old disconnected number?  I may try that next time.

The other peeve I will share is wasting time.  In the course of my day, I’m pretty much in perpetual motion or work type activity from the time I get up until late evening when my son is in bed and I feel like I can take a little time for me.  So, to have some non-important something slow me down or stop me is annoying.  Do I ever stop to watch television or check out Facebook?  Yes, but I don’t spend hours doing either one and most of the time if I’m watching television it is part of my personal downtime or time with my family.  As a parent of a middle school student, there is a lot of time spent taking him to practices or having him at school activities.  This is not a waste of time, but I find myself with odd periods of time waiting for him that I try to make productive by taking work along or a book to read.  Rarely do I ever “kill” time.  What I do watch out for is that I’m teaching my son the balance between living a productive non-wasteful life and living in such a manner so as to not rush or over-plan every moment of the day.  There are extraordinary things that happen to us and around us in the spontaneity of life that need to be experienced; slowing down to listen to a spouse share their day or a child ask a question or tell of an adventure, watch the sunset or notice a child playing; taking a call from a friend in need or who has good news to share.   You know the important things in life that will outlast any daily schedule, remind us of our priorities and are like pushing the reset button on our patterns of thinking.

“People over progress” is a mantra that I took on several years ago when I did find myself so over planned and dedicated to my daily lists to be available for those who mean the most to me.  Most of the time, people are not a waste of time.

Well this post didn’t go exactly the way I expected, but that’s ok, it accomplished the goal.  Are you re-thinking your pet peeves?  What are they?

All the best,

KK

Have you done it yet?

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Welcome to the end of the first week of January.  Last week you started the month and the year with high-hopes and lofty resolutions.  Now that things are settling down to normal and the kids are headed back to school, it’s time to solidify those resolutions into goals that you can work toward accomplishing in the next 358 days.

With clear and realistic thinking, sit down and write your goals for 2013.  You’ve heard that the journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step; writing your goal down is the first step.  Your goal becomes real when you see it staring back at you from the page.  It becomes your destination and map for a new journey this year.  Then take the second step and write under the goal the first five action items to accomplishing your goal.

For example, one of my goals is to read at least 12 books this year and at least two of them need to be new authors and genres for me.  So under the goal I number lines one through twelve.  Now I just go to work filling in the blanks.  I know a book a month doesn’t seem like much, but realistically I have little time in my day to read, so I know it’s attainable given my work and family obligations.  Last year, I would have read more, but one of the books I chose was painfully slow.  But I finished it and am glad I stuck with it.

Can’t think of anything you would like to accomplish this year?  Ask yourself a couple of questions:  if I could do one thing to improve my situation, financially, physically, mentally or emotionally, what would it be?  What do you need to do to accomplish this?

If it helps and you want someone to hold you accountable, share your goals with a trusted friend and give them permission to ask you throughout the year about how you are doing toward your goal.  Having gone through this exercise every year for the past 20 plus years, setting goals has become a part of my psyche, I’m pretty good at holding myself accountable; ok except for exercise goals, these I stink at.

One thing is true, if you write nothing down; set no goals, you are likely to be the exact same physically, mentally or emotionally as you are right this minute.  Even if you don’t fully accomplish the goal you write down, any effort toward that goal is better than no effort at all.  In the end, you will celebrate all the steps of your journey even if you didn’t reach your destination.  That’s what 2014 will be about.

Let me know how it’s going,

KK

January 1st

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new yearI’m pretty sure that January first is the most optimistic day of the year. For most it’s a holiday; a day without a schedule. One person wrote that it was their first “stress-free” day of the year. Unlike starting a new page on the calendar, we start a new calendar, 365 days free from all the obligations that will come with the reality of tomorrow.

Today, many will make resolutions and set goals; some of which will stick and they will be better for it. No one ever resolves to take up a bad habit or sets a goal to gain 10 pounds. The resolutions and goals are positive changes of general self-improvement.

Today we look forward with hope with tunnel vision toward the good that coming days will bring. Will all of the days be as “stress-free” as today? Not a chance. But today there is hope for more good days than bad; more successes than failures and wisdom enough to appreciate both.

Happy new 365 days.

All the best,
KK

Consider Mary

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starConsider Mary; young, outcast, weary of nine months of whispers as she passed the other women rather than motherly advice from her elders.  Did the hormonal swings make her think she was crazy?  With no book, What to Expect when Expecting to guide her, she prepared for her baby and our king.  Did she know how to count the weeks and months until the birth?  In her third trimester did she understand Braxton Hicks contractions?  Joseph had come back ready to love her through this, did she wonder if he would change his mind?  Knowing they would be traveling to Bethlehem, did she do any “nesting” like most mothers, preparing space and blankets for wrapping her new born?

Each year at Christmas as a mother, I am drawn to Mary and her point of view.  Nine months pregnant, more than likely swollen and uncomfortable riding on the back of a lumpy donkey, did she weep with fear of giving birth?

Or in her discomfort, fear and pain, did the God who chose her, carry her.  Did she find peace in the silence and feel His strength and confidence surround her?

Jesus didn’t just feel his humanity when he was older and being tempted in the desert, even during birth the babe experienced the trauma of the birth canal and his first sounds were that of his mother’s scream during delivery.  No doubt Jesus immediately felt the dramatic contrast from the warmth of a mother’s womb to the coldness of the world.

All births are miracles, if you are a mother, you can imagine Mary holding her child close to nestle him in the warmth of her arms.  While we may have held our children in wonder about who this little person is and what they will be when they are grown.  Mary held her son knowing his purpose but not fully understanding his impact.

Recovering from giving birth, Mary lay resting with her child snuggled close and a loving but shell-shocked Joseph trying very hard to make their surroundings more comfortable.

Taking a deep breath of contentment, the young mother, forgetting the nine-confusing months rested under the star that made the silent announcement that her son had arrived and the world would forever be changed.

Gardening in the spiritual sense

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Many times on Sunday afternoon after church and our family lunch, Jay will retire to a nap, Cole to the couch for relaxing with some TV and I head for the yard.  Some might call what I do, “yard work”, but for someone like me who works in a professional setting, climate controlled office 40+ hours a week, it’s much, much more than that; even though I end up hot, sweaty and very dirty.

I like plants and flowers and have garden areas in the front and back of our home.  It’s still absolutely amazing to me to plant a seed or small flower and watch it grow.  Isn’t that amazing?  Most of the time while pulling weeds or trimming I think about the sermon from that morning, our Creator and this earth He gave us that we so readily consume without a second thought.  Sometimes I think about all my questions for God, like “are weeds that bloom really weeds or just misplaced flowers?”  Today, I planted mums (.88 cents at Home Depot) and my trees from the Arbor Foundation (www.arborday.org).   Today I thought about the legacy of gardening I’ve inherited.  Family legend has it that my MaMaw Bray could poke a hole in the ground with her finger, put a stick in it and grow a tree.  My mother is a gardener and gave me something close to a stick with roots last spring assuring me if I put it in the ground I will have a Butterfly bush.  I did what I was told and sure enough there grew a Butterfly bush that was very busy this afternoon.

Being outside trimming and cleaning up the garden reminds me of how we should constantly be aware of how God nips and prunes us to become the beautiful person He sees when He looks at us.  At the end of my time outside I usually turn on the hose and give all the flowers a drink, hose down the sidewalk and my feet.  What a wonderful site and fresh smell; completely natural.

Ok, so to top it off, I like to mow also.  In fact, I’m a little sad that my son is getting old enough and motivated (by the pay) to want to mow.  It’s like getting a haircut.  You start out a little unkempt and in an hour you have a clean, well-manicured look and feel.  The same holds true for your lawn.  Within a short time (and even when you don’t edge) you have a tidy looking yard.  To make mowing really appealing in today’s vernacular; it’s pretty much instant gratification.  There, I said it.

Coming in from the garden I am sticky, dirty, and if I’ve worn a cap it’s pretty much sweat-plastered to my head until I’m safely in the bathroom where no one can see the mess of my hair.  I always feel my cleanest after a post-gardening shower.  From a dirty mess to clean and fresh, huh, pretty much the point the pastor was trying to make.

Think about it,

KK

Sugar cookies and memories

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Yesterday I made sugar cookies to take to school at lunch time for Cole’s birthday.  Evidently it is still cool for mom to show up with cookies at middle school lunch as long as she doesn’t hang out too long.  The cookies were homemade slice and bake, but I wanted to ice them to look like baseballs.

One thing to understand, I am not an artist and if I can’t just shoot a fun shape out of a cookie press and add sprinkles, I’m stretching my talents.  Standing in the kitchen icing these cookies, I began to think about my son and how he is growing into a young man.  I felt thankfulness for the grace and encouragement God had delivered over and over to us throughout the years.  I thought about the day he was born and the first moment he looked at me as if to say, “so that is what you look like, I only knew your voice for these nine months.”

Then it came time to add the red icing to make the laces on the “balls”.  It wasn’t great.  Some were ok, and then I remembered my recipients, middle schoolers.  The cookie that looked like home plate was good and I eeked out five or six good baseballs, the rest got sprinkles.  I was running out of time and needed to get them over to school.

At one point I thought maybe I should scrap the idea and go buy the pretty ones from the bakery.  But then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to reflect and embrace the blessing of a birthday many years ago and yesterday.

I have no idea how Cole will remember his 2012 birthday.  Maybe we will laugh about my attempt at cookie decorating; but I can almost promise you that he will know that every swipe of the icing spreader, and every squirt of the icing decorator was done with love.  Yes, I could have easily swiped my debit card and bought pretty cookies, but it wouldn’t have been the same experience for either of us.

Think about it,

KK

Soak it Up

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A baby is born and is completely dependent on someone to provide for the basic needs.  Within the first year the child goes from completely helpless to crawling and many times even walking.  Parents are told to fill their minds with music, color, shapes and to talk to their baby.  The child is like a sponge taking it all in.  I’m wondering when we lose our sponginess.  Do we?  When do we grow immune to our environment, or the messages that are shared?  I don’t think we ever lose it.  I think we forget about the cliché “garbage in, garbage out.”  We think as adults we have great command over our thoughts and self- control of our actions.

I digress, because tonight my concern is for our young people and the messages they are receiving disguised in the cloak of entertainment.  Tonight our family went to see Marvel’s Avengers (http://marvel.com/avengers_movie/).   It was a treat and a good movie.  However, the previews of coming attractions were a string of dark stories that were presented as end of the earth, destruction, movies that led me to think that life is hopeless.  Ok, so they are movies not reality.  But you and I both know the line between the two can be very faint for the young people around us.  The previews also included two new reality shows coming to television.  Seriously, is this entertainment?  If it’s true reality than maybe all hope is gone.

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when television was growing in popularity as a means of entertainment.  The situational comedies like Happy Days and Lavern and Shirley, filled our minds with fun and laughter.  Never once did we hear Richie Cunningham bashing his father or being two-faced with his friends.   Today our television schedules are full of ridiculous shows that are “reality based” are filled with backstabbing men and women.  The plot lines for this waste of time and space shows ranges from alligator competitions, to bored house wives, father son motor cycle builders and even loggers.  How is this entertaining?   When you watch a reality tv show, after it’s over do you have a sore belly from laughing like we did with characters like Joey on Friends or Jerry Seinfeld?  Let me help here, you don’t.  If anything you may just find yourself tired and cynical.

Shows that make us laugh; give us the opportunity to release all those positive endorphins that laughter produces.  Shows that inform stretch our minds and build knowledge.   Television dramas can be entertaining if well written and have strong characters.  Even watching a sporting event can be uplifting.

What messages are our young people taking in from their television and movie entertainment if all of them are dark, stressful and cynical?  Why should they have hope for a brighter future if this is what they watch?  How can we be effective parents and mentors if this is the crap we are watching?

Think about it…

KK

Reality TV has nothing on Shakespeare

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William Shakespeare’s contribution to literature and culture is bigger than most think.  He was a very common man (like most of us) who stepped out of the norm to write stories that poked fun at royalty, slandered political parties, and questioned societal snobbery.  Imagine what his posts on Facebook would have been like.  Today, he is the second most quoted writer in history; second only to writers in the Bible.

In looking for information on Shakespeare, I couldn’t find my notes so I googled it.  Who would have thought even 10 years ago that the word google would be a verb, much less accepted in most board rooms across our land?  The peers of William Shakespeare probably thought the same way with some of the 1700 common words he invented.  He was very crafty in taking verbs and turning them into nouns by adding a prefix or suffix, like buzz to buzzer.

In Kentucky, we have the opportunity to experience the works of Shakespeare under the stars of Louisville’s Central Park and in our classrooms through the mission of the Kentucky Shakespeare Festival.  There have been hundreds of starry nights in the park where over the crickets’ chamber music thousands have experienced the melodic iambic pentameter written hundreds of years ago.

The audience in the park is made up of those who are old, young, families, couples, rich, poor, educated and uneducated; not unlike the original audiences of Shakespeare’s work.  They all stroll through the park and find themselves taken to another time; a love story, a tragedy or comedy.  Never mind not understanding every word spoken, the story is told and the audience understands what’s going on through the amazing set, costumes and expressions of the actors.

In Kentucky classrooms each year nearly 75,000 students not only experience the works of Shakespeare, but in many situations have an opportunity to discuss his works and how their themes still apply.  Kentucky Shakespeare’s educational programs are available for grades K-12.  For the high school students who have Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet as required reading, having the production come to them helps solidify the story and it’s themes.

The Kentucky Shakespeare Festival has been producing Shakespeare’s plays in the park for over 50 years.  It’s free to attend but not free to produce.  This Kentucky gem needs our help to sustain the professional productions in the park and plan for additional productions.  Right now through the Power 2 Give program your gift is matched!  So, if you think your gift won’t matter, it will!  The website is www.power2give.org (choose organization, Kentucky Shakespeare).  Make your donation and watch it go twice as far toward the goal.

You may still be thinking that William Shakespeare and his 1700 invented words are for those uppity folks who attend theatre and cotillion, remember what Ben Johnson, a friendly rival of Shakespeare’s, said, “He was not of an age, but for all time!”

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to invest in the future of Kentucky Shakespeare.  To learn more visit their website, www.kyshakespeare.com.

Enjoy,
KK

Saturday, January 21, 2012

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“We always over estimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in five years.” – Source unknown

It’s Saturday, January 21st and most people who made New Year’s resolutions have given up.  It’s been too cold or life got busy again getting back to the routine of work and school. Resolutions or goals are like running a marathon.  Runners don’t bust off the line and burn all of their energy in the first mile; they plan their pace to accomplish the time they want across the finish line.

So, did you blast off on January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd?  Below are few suggestions for reloading those goals and re-committing.

First, be realistic.  Runners don’t just get up one morning and decide to win a race.  They start with training and really having a passion for racing.  Go back and review the resolution or goal you wrote down (you did write it down, or do I need to go back further on goal setting).  Did you set too many goals or make too many resolutions? Maybe choose only one or two to really commit to.  Do you have the ability and desire to accomplish the goal within the year?   If either is in question, keep reading as we further look at reloading.

Second, give yourself a new start date.  January 1st is a natural calendar start, but goals can be started anytime.  If the first quarter of the year is very busy for you in one area of your life, you may need to set a start date further out.   My goals are written by the end of the first week of January, but my start date isn’t until February 1st.  This allows me a month to plan for them, pray over them and really commit to working toward accomplishing them.

Third, break the goal down into bite size chunks.  Runners usually start out walking or running smaller races to train and get in shape.  What are the steps to accomplishing your goal?  Do you need to take a class?  Do you need to plan for some activity toward that goal each week?  Take the piece of paper you wrote the goal on (you did write it down, didn’t you) and under the goal write the steps to accomplishing it.  Then go through and give each step a deadline.  Are your deadlines doable with your other responsibilities?  Add these deadlines to the calendar you live by; if it’s electronic then set reminders for yourself.

Fourth, keep your goal fresh.  Set a date five or six months from your start to revisit the goal.  Do you still want to accomplish this?  How are you doing? Do you need to adjust your goal to better fit your time, ability and resources?

By writing your goals and making them work within your passion, lifestyle and resources, you are taking control.  When you take charge of your goals and resolutions, you will accomplish more than if you give up before the end of the first month; and even more will be accomplished if you write the goal down.  Every day is a new start, every week is a new beginning and every month is a fresh commitment.

See you at the finish line,

KK

Gray Thursday

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It has been a long-standing tradition in families across America that on Thanksgiving Thursday after over-stuffing on the turkey and fixings the football fans retire to take their naps in front of a bowl game.  Meanwhile the shoppers in the family spread the newspaper ads out on the table and create their strategy for black Friday shopping.

In recent years the internet entered the scene as the shoppers made their plans for black Friday referencing the difference in pricing online and those in the stores.  When there is less than a month and a list of gifts, all resources must be utilized.  But that is where the line should be drawn.

Last week several retailers announced that their black Friday deals would begin at 10 p.m. the night before.  The night before…that would be Thanksgiving night; grant it, shopping for Christmas can sometimes be hard to complete when it’s an important time to go to parties with friends and take the spiritual journey of the season, but is it necessary to squeeze out Thanksgiving Day?

Is it not worth a full 24 hours of life to slow down long enough to be thankful, stuff ourselves and enjoy time with family?  Now those 24 hours are being encroached on by retailers trying to create frenzy, and have their day in the media.

The family tradition at the beginning of the piece many times ends with family playing cards or watching a movie together, not charging the door of Wal-Mart to save little, and stand in line all night.  Where are our priorities?  Are they on the people we are shopping for and the important times we spend with them? Retailers would have you believe that to show your love to that special someone, you absolutely MUST leave them at the Thanksgiving table, and go buy them stuff.

If we are not careful, Thanksgiving Thursday is going to become, Gray Thursday – another historical holiday lost in commercialism.

Think about it.

All the best,

KK