What’s the worst that can happen?

The tall strong father felt his little girl’s grip squeeze just a little tighter. Their steps were shortening the distance. After eight weeks of swimming lessons the determined reward was to get to go off the diving board by herself.

“You ok? Still want to do this?” The father spoke gently.

“Yea daddy.”

“Then why are you squeezing my hand?”

“Well, uh, I may be a little scared.”

The father nodded and kept walking. Arriving a few feet from the end of the line. The father knelt down and pulled the pony-tailed girl’s towel from around her shoulders. “You’re going to do great. It’s just like we talked about and practiced. You hold your breath, jump, big splash, then come up swimming toward the ladder.”

The little girl laughed at the big splash part. Her father’s reassuring words were as warm as the summer sunshine, melting her anxiousness. But the butterflies still bounced around her stomach.

“I, I, I, think I’m afraid, daddy.”

Knowing this was all his daughter had talked about during her swimming lessons. Having watched her watch the big kids every week at the pool; she at the shallow end and them laughing and doing all kinds of funny jumps, the father knew his daughter would enjoy.

“Remember the question I always ask you when you are feeling afraid.”16089391-Little-girl-standing-on-the-end-of-a-diving-board-Stock-Photo-swimming-pool-children

In her small voice the girl said with rote memory, “Yes, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“That’s right. And we’ve talked about how to jump safely. You just got your completion certificate for all your lessons. AND” the father stressed, “You just swam three times the distance you will after jumping. I know you will do fine and if you get in pickle, I’m right here and will jump in. Look up in the chair, it’s Ms. Sara. She will be watching too.”

Ms. Sara waived. The little girl smiled real big and waved back. The site of one of her teachers as the life guard and her father’s reassurance was the last dose of encouragement she needed.

The little girl walked up to the line. Took the two steps up the low dive. Her toes wiggled at the first feel of the rough board. Walking to the edge, with a smile and a wave to her father, she puffed air into her cheeks and jumped. The splash washed over the diving area and in the rings of success the little girl popped to the surface and into a free style stroke. Climbing out of the pool her success dripped off of her and splashed in her words, “I did it! Did you see me daddy? Can I go again?”

With a congratulatory squeeze the father chimed, “Of course you can.”

*** 

This scene demonstrates the many times in our children’s lives when we as parents need to remind them of what they know to be true and encourage them to take the next step. Anxiousness is a good emotion when it gives pause to ensure we are going in the right direction. A direction for which we have prepared. A direction that fits with our values, beliefs, and talents. There have been many times that I’ve asked that same question, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Short of death or dismemberment, the worst thing that can happen is a mistake that, no doubt, I will learn more from than allowing anxiety to paralyze my life. As our children grow we continue to be ready to jump in the pool to catch them. I’m wondering, is it sometimes better, knowing they are ready for the next step, for us to stay on the sidelines and cheer them on?

 Your thoughts,

KK

“Dive” — Steven Curtis Chapman

 

Away at College

Going away to college or just moving into the dorm at the college nearby was once an exciting prospect. Away from home and the parents. Out on your own and taking charge of your time. As parents, we spend the first 18 years of our children’s lives preparing them with the right jewels of wisdom. We hope and pray that by the time they leave, they are ready for all the good, and the bad that they will encounter.college time

We hope we’ve given them a firm foundation in their faith. We teach them that it will be only a matter of time when drugs will be offered to them and how to say no. We talk to them about sex and the virtues of not sleeping around. But there is a new issue on the block. One that our parents didn’t need to talk to us about – the lone shooter.

In the late 1940’s at the height of the atomic and nuclear bomb scare, students and citizens learned the term, “duck and cover.” There were drills in neighborhoods, offices and public places. Those of us who grew up in the late 60’s and early 70’s hardly remember these drills. And young parents today know them only as a section in their history books. Today, our “duck and cover” lessons need to be about what to do if a lone shooter comes into your classroom, dorm, mall, church, theater or any large public gathering.

Reportedly In the first 10 months of this year, there have been 10 university shooting sprees. That’s one a month. We don’t want to send our kids off to school in fear, but we need to add the terrorists to the list of “what to do if” conversations we have with them.

Thankfully, I still have some time for working this lesson into our conversation. I’m already praying for the wise words to use. We want to send our kids out into that big world with confidence and boldness. We want to launch them saying, “look out world, here I come,” just as we left home. To do so they need to be armed with the weapons of wisdom, discernment, faith, hope, positive disciplines in their lives and “what to do if.”

What do you think?

KK

De-Screen

At least twice a month my husband and I have a date night. Yes, he calls me and asks me out for dinner or whatever I’d like to go and do. Our date nights are an important part of the success of our marriage so far. I’ve noticed on recent outings a phenomenon that seems to be growing. The restaurants we frequent all have television screens posted around or other screens with promotional messaging for the restaurant. One restaurant even had a television in the ladies room. Really, is all this necessary? Is there no place (within the dating budget) outside my home dining room we canscreen free escape for a lovely meal and some good conversation? Once when we were traveling there was a screen with a scrolling commercial on a gas pump!

I’m not convinced our attention deficit problem comes from video games. It comes from our constant barrage of messaging and tele-entertainment. We have phones, tablets, computers, tv’s all screaming at us. We come into the house and we turn on a television. Consider this exercise, eliminate half of your screen exposure for one day or one week (that’s after you finish this post and perhaps choose to follow my blog). The second thing I would challenge you to do is spend at least 10 minutes a day focusing on something positive, watching your children playing, watching a sunset, reading a devotion; or just be still and listen to the silence. Perhaps have a face to face conversation (in the flesh, not FaceTime) with someone.

How will this exercise change you? I say exercise, because for some, this will hurt. You’re going to feel it. After the initial twitching stops and you look around, I would imagine you will see things more clearly than HD can ever deliver. There is a freedom to letting go of trying to keep up with what the world is shoving at you and taking control of what you watch or listen to.

Don’t disconnect from your family or your responsibilities. But let go of uninvited intrusions and see what happens.

Let me know.

KK

Would you know what to do?

The request sounds innocent. The talk is smooth. So smooth you slide into the driver’s seat having ignored the twinge in your gut and the thought in the back of your head. It’s probably not a good idea to provide this ride. What am I doing? Before you know it you are being directed onto an abandoned road far from traffic and neighborhoods.

This is not the beginning of a bad horror movie. The situation is very real and was survived by a good friend of mine SharonPortraitwhen a former client of hers schmoozed her into her own car and then proceeded to kidnap and attack her. Today, nine years later, seven of which she spent in a legal battle, Sharon launched her movement, Own Your Moment (www.OwnYourMoment.org). Her goal is to empower, prepare, and inform others on how to protect themselves or prevent a personal attack.

Many women are given mace for their key rings when they learn to drive. In defense of a personal attack, could we get to it? Do we know how to use it fast enough before it’s taken from us? Do we trust our instincts over the risk of offending someone we don’t fully trust?

Sharon is an intelligent woman with a successful law practice. This attack took hours, but the experience has changed her life. Check her website, read her story, watch the video with her 911 call. Then tell me that you are not moved to be armed with the information and confidence to stay safe.

KK

So, how did you do?

easter eggsMy post Snow Day Project challenged us to have some items marked off our snow day project list by Easter. So, how did you do? Admittedly, we hosted 20 of our family members on Easter. Hosting any gathering is a huge motivator to me to get some serious cleaning done.

I marked a few things off my list in addition to the standard dusting (including corners and ceiling fans), vacuuming and mopping to get ready for the family.

1. Downstairs closet cleaned out and the seven phone books recycled (have no idea why I had seven phone books collected over the last five years).

2. Christmas china stored in new storage containers.

3. Woodwork downstairs and in upstairs hall washed.

4. General organizing of shelves and stuff that has been homeless for several months.

So, what’s next? I’m thinking my garden needs a visit from me. The spring flowers are looking great, but it’s time to do some mulching and weeding. And I may make a stop in my garage. Getting ready for a yard sale in June. My target deadline is Memorial day.

How about you?

KK

Snow Day Projects

Four days ago our community had a foot of snow fall. Some areas south of us got upwards of two feet of snow. Yes, I know it’s checklistthe beginning of March. Winter was a little late in blooming this year. It tried to show up in November with our first five inches, but it shied away and tried to make a final stand a couple of weeks ago but decided a few days ago to go for broke before the first day of spring gets here.

The snow came and fell for hours. We woke to a foot of snow and the city practically shut down. For those who couldn’t go to work or school it was a prime opportunity to hit the list. We all have them. The list of projects or chores we save for “when we are snowed in”. These projects could range from sorting old photos into albums, cleaning out a closet or sitting in the big chair and reading all day long.

Unfortunately, we are so connected from inside our own homes to the outside world and have so many entertainment distractions at our finger tips, the snow really doesn’t keep us from doing much we would be ordinarily do. Short of a power outage, I could work and still do conference calls. My son could still watch a variety of cable or NetFlix shows. Our snow days didn’t look much different than a normal day off for the kids or a normal work day for me; ok, other than the initial excitement of a day of sledding and take-out pizza.

What will it take for me to hit the list and get it done? Sitting here thinking of two or three of my projects, I find one thing leading to another. Cleaning out a closet is going to mean sorting, organizing and more than likely a trip to Goodwill. But all of the closets need this, so do I sort and organize all of them and make a huge trip to Goodwill? How do I prioritize my list? Can I ever catch up with all of my projects? Or is this like eating the big salad? Since waiting for snow won’t get it done, guess I’m going to have to just dig in.

Here’s my challenge to you – yes, you can hold me accountable – today is March 8, 2015, Easter is April 5th, four weeks. How many of your snow day list items can we complete?

Are you game?

KK

One of Those Winters

dreary dayWe haven’t had any significant snow since November. The winter grey that Kentucky usually experiences in January and February moved in early this year — December. It has out-stayed its welcome. The good news that in my fight to keep my mood from falling into a putty-colored state, I’ve exercised more. Just to keep moving, there have been a couple of home projects marked off the list.

The bad news is that my electric bill has increased in my attempt to turn on enough lights to keep the dreariness out of the house. About every three days the sun comes out. It makes me want to shove the dog out of the single beam to soak up enough to carry me through the next several days of dullness.

Our friends in the Northeast have been hammered with snow and ice. Many of them are probably wishing they could see the dead grass in their yards. Know that my heart goes out to them. I wish Mother Nature could have just split the difference this year so we could share in some of the snow fun. While I may be guilty of doing the “snow day” dance for the schools to close with my high school, for the most part I’ve graduated from snow days and look forward to enjoying a beautiful snow that can break up the winter.

spring flowersAs of this post there are 39 days until spring. Anything is possible with our Kentucky/Ohio valley weather. There still may be a good snow in our future. In the meantime, what are you doing to ward off the winter blah?

All the best,

KK

The Tuesday Before

I went to the grocery Tuesday (yes, two days before Thanksgiving). My primary purpose was to pick up the fresh turkey gobblewe had ordered. Admittedly, there were a few other items, but nothing major. As I walked in there were people exiting with heaping cart loads of groceries. The store was abuzz with shoppers. There was a hustling energy much like gift shopping on Christmas Eve. It made me wonder if Thanksgiving was a surprise to these shoppers much like Christmas is to those who shop the day before. Or instead of shopping early, they chose to just wait and risk the possibility that the cranberry sauce in a can might be sold out or the pumpkin spice might be gone. Just wondering.

Truly friends we have much to be thankful for in this life. We are rich in friends, family and opportunity. There probably will not be any shortage in the grocery you find yourself in tonight at 10 p.m. (there is always that one key ingredient that was forgotten).

God bless,

KK

 

 

 

 

Five years and counting

khr 0614 BOk friends, I’ve been posting and you’ve been kind enough to read my writings for five years. As I read back through all the different posts some are more my favorites than others. Below is a list of some that stand out to me (in no particular order). Let me know what you think. Or go through the archives and pick your own favorite. I’d love to hear which one you liked.

And if you haven’t clicked on the follow button yet, please do. You won’t want to miss what’s coming. Besides, in this vast world of the internet, it’s encouraging to know my words aren’t just flying around aimlessly. They have friends to visit. Thanks.

5/31/2009 Things not to miss — be in the moment

11/30/2009 Black Friday Gateway to the Dark Side

3/6/2012 ‘Tis the Season

4/18/2014 It’ Friday, Sunday’s Coming

4/8/2013 Say Please and Thank You

KK

It’s a holiday thing

It’s the most wonderful time of the year [the song is in your head now, isn’t it]. The mindset most people have around Thanksgiving and Christmas is something we should embrace all year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see people focused on being thankful, giving to those in need and spending time with family. These are activities that we need to put in play throughout the year.

How much different would your day be if you started, perhaps on your way to work, thinking about all the good in your life? You may come up with one thing or 20. Either way, thinking on such positive meaningful aspects of our life can only do one thing, warm our hearts and lift our spirits. I’m not suggesting the Pollyannagobble approach, you may have a delightful ride into work and get there only to find the same personnel issues, budgetary problems, or deadlines not being met. This state of mind isn’t meant to have us living in la-la land. It’s merely a manner by which we will approach our day and all that it holds both positive and negative.

What if those who post daily thankful messages in November do it in May (half way between)?

What if we worried as much about the homeless and hungry when they can’t escape the heat as when they can’t escape the cold?

How would this new mindset change ourselves? Our world?

Think about it.

KK